Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery.... - FML

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 56 494

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 483

You deserved it 19 813

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 400

You deserved it 38 312

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 244

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 959

You deserved it 6 608

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 53

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 263

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 291

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 615

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 278

You deserved it 42 116

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 272

You deserved it 1 474

Next

Top comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

katzepferd 0

Monday 17 August 2009 19:11

thats not bad at all, just barely, slightly, a very very little annoying

evangldbrg 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 19:11

WIN

Hockeylover87_71 0

Friday 21 August 2009 9:21

woaahhhh, tell me you weren't getting it on with your laptop

zackman13 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:42

#33 lol and dude get a life! jacking off is for dudes who cant get some action! and seriously? you think that means your life sucks... well it does because you wank! FYL!

hackymeal 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 4:29

maybe he's 12 - 14 or sumthing, idiot

vergaso 0

Monday 28 June 2010 11:20

how about u shut up ur prolly like 10 or 11 if not younger I'm sure every man has jacked off do stop talking I doubt u fick a hot chik every day

shudson186 17

Monday 12 May 2014 16:56

#34 it's actually quite healthy to **********.

hornetchik 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 7:52

Umm laptops run off batteries.

Basiil 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 10:33

Eek!

Tang35 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 20:44

hahah maybe if u had a girl to do it for u, nothin would run outta batteries and ud be happy :D get off the computer and find a real girl

koolitaliano 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 3:11

YDI for no real reason in particular

HyperExecuter 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 5:18

ydi for using the word wank.

notyou123 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:50

honestly if ur in the moment that's not gonna stop u

redsox4021 0

Thursday 15 April 2010 6:16

how does this shit make it onto this site

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Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Kids Birthday Money Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 767

You deserved it 10 103

The Top

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 4 050

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 706

You deserved it 3 693

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 10 355

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 063

You deserved it 4 620

Today, I found out my husband hasn't paid the mortgage in 3 months. We have a joint account, but it has always been his job to pay the bills. We are in the process of selling our house, and when I asked him about it he said, "Why are you stressing? We're selling anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 132

Today, it's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep because of my blocked left nostril. It's been a month now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 124