Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery....

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 56 493

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 483

You deserved it 19 813

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 400

You deserved it 38 312

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 244

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 959

You deserved it 6 608

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 53

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 263

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 291

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 615

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 278

You deserved it 42 115

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 272

You deserved it 1 474

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

ArticFlare 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 4:22

Why am I clueless?

Likian5 26

Friday 19 December 2014 21:41

I just......why are you sharing this???

skatergal99 17

Thursday 19 March 2015 5:11

I would suggest googling some grammar rules, but your laptop is dead so...

irishboyjoy 5

Wednesday 29 April 2015 20:50

I've been there

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 1 July 2018 20:46

You don't need ****, just use your imagination.

123Puppy 33

Wednesday 4 December 2019 20:56

You’re disgusting.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Money Cute Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media Education School Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Miscellaneous Capitalism Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 604

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 414

The Top

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 104

You deserved it 3 292

Today, I was so tired I somehow managed to use black false eyelash glue instead of my liquid eyeliner. Every time I sneeze my eyes become glued shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 169

You deserved it 2 568

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 379

You deserved it 13 281

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 8 326

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 847

You deserved it 6 564

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 502

You deserved it 52 244