Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery....

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 479

You deserved it 56 513

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 486

You deserved it 19 817

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 406

You deserved it 38 331

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 248

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 966

You deserved it 6 610

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 59

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 280

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 306

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 634

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 278

You deserved it 42 126

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 273

You deserved it 1 475

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

ArticFlare 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 4:22

Why am I clueless?

Likian5 26

Friday 19 December 2014 21:41

I just......why are you sharing this???

skatergal99 17

Thursday 19 March 2015 5:11

I would suggest googling some grammar rules, but your laptop is dead so...

irishboyjoy 5

Wednesday 29 April 2015 20:50

I've been there

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Sunday 1 July 2018 20:46

You don't need ****, just use your imagination.

123Puppy 33

Wednesday 4 December 2019 20:56

You’re disgusting.

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I agree, your life sucks 9

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Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 448

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 3 299

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 929

You deserved it 8 188

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

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You deserved it 3 154

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 877

You deserved it 11 788

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 289