Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunchtime, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML
Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Bekll 31
This would be a good FML for "that could have happened to me" because I can relate to this. I choke on my own saliva, like, once a week even.
RichardPencil 32
This made me go eat a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Got through it all with no puking. Mmmm, mmm, good!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
zaidthunder1 27
My worst nightmare.