Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

Today, I walked in on my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

Ew, dude

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

Touching story

Today, I was half asleep when my cat came over to cuddle. I was petting her in the dark when I felt what I thought was a patch of matted fur under her neck, as if she had been injured and bleeding. Alarmed, I felt for that spot again and found myself holding her tail. What I'd felt was in fact my cat's anus. FML

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

**** my shit up

Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

Today, I walked into the living room to find my boyfriend plucking his ball hairs with the same tweezers I use for my eyebrows. FML