Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML
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Top comments
Kidkaplan 19
Times like theses... "just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Woah! Did you feel that gush of wind? Oh nevermind, that was just the joke going over your head.
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Comments (102)
Poetaster 10
Dude!! I love your optimism!! We need more people like you!
athos1237 4
You would have known if you were any good and wouldn't have been surprised you were in the "lead" if you understood you true ability. SMH
Llama_Face89 34
There's your first problem. Never look for the other swimmers. It only slows you down. What was the race?
joker118 7
happened to me once but i did an extra lap
Llama_Face89 34
We're you still DQ'ed?
jutyjaty 9
Anything other than a 500 maybe you should consider something else
jonha21 11
You must be gifted Try "Baseball"
xoxolifesucks 8
swam*
CharresBarkrey 16
Swum is correct. DocBastard had a whole comment thread going, an the mods changed the FML to "swum." It originally said "swam."
Zebediabolical 45
One can only hope that when you improve your coach won't think you cheated and demand you re-swim the race.
Cowsxgoxmoo78 8
Last place is the first loser....see you didn't lose to everyone on everything. :-)
hcapps123 1
Yup happens to me all the time and I'm almost in the highest group