Kids: Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis.... - FML

By clean - 16/09/2013 07:51 - Australia - Ashfield

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 4 279

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 16:20 - Canada - Milton

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 163

You deserved it 2 669

Doggy dog world

By bigdaddy - 25/09/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 286

You deserved it 8 587

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 28 099

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 980

You deserved it 50 037

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 106

You deserved it 1 195

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237

You deserved it 3 179

Work sucks

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 399

You deserved it 2 645

By uglychick - 05/09/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 777

You deserved it 9 735

By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 14:34 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 128

You deserved it 1 553

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 407

You deserved it 763

Next

Top comments

killuhand 12

Monday 16 September 2013 16:15

can't blame the kid for wanting to be minty fresh

feldco1 17

Monday 16 September 2013 16:16

At least this didnt say "my toothbrush."

Comments

Old_Iron_Sides 6

Tuesday 17 September 2013 1:57

Was it your toothbrush?

VentiAnemoi 20

Tuesday 17 September 2013 2:12

Hope it was his toothbrush.

bcarey21xoxo 6

Tuesday 17 September 2013 2:18

Hopefully it wasn't YOUR toothbrush.... Yuck

MarthFan51 2

Tuesday 17 September 2013 2:30

Well awkward. at least not your tooth brush

Marinewife12 8

Tuesday 17 September 2013 3:45

ummm ewwwww!! that's one not sanitary unless its a brand new one and two if he was going to do something like thta then why not lock the door?? I'm sure that people do stranger things but c'mon.

matt369 2

Tuesday 17 September 2013 4:54

LOL! Well, whose brush was it?? :)

pklemm 12

Tuesday 17 September 2013 4:59

His own?

lasttimelawd 9

Tuesday 17 September 2013 6:05

What did he do with it that made it need such a thorough cleaning?

caligirllife 11

Tuesday 17 September 2013 6:59

At least it wasn't your toothbrush?

pinchepriscyla 9

Tuesday 17 September 2013 11:06

Not your toothbrush I hope

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 245

You deserved it 7 781

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 917

The Top

Today, I'm still waiting for my ex, who yesterday afternoon told me that he'd be here within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 454

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 145

You deserved it 2 165

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 255

You deserved it 9 885

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 4 962

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 964

You deserved it 6 412

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 106

You deserved it 3 085