Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
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Top comments
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
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Comments (86)
MermaidAnnariea 10
nothing wrong with being a cat lady. unless you start neglecting them...
dakkat720 6
are you single cause you're a bad person or because you're ugly? a cat might make you easier to look at. kind of a distraction. if you're an asshole then the cats gonna just turn into something you blame your problems on.
dakkat720 6
U. G. L. Y. You ain't got no alibi.... you ugly...you ugly...
gracehi 33
Cats are furry miniature ninjas, making them far superior companions to all but the very best men.
spikekutter 9
i wouldnt worry about it, almost everyone is being dumped this year..
spikekutter 9
being dumped is a lot worse than being single..
nvo 6
Shitty remark from your sister, but don't blame the cat for it. If you don't want a pet, find her a good place to go - otherwise enjoy the kitty and keep looking for friends and/or potential partners.
netdemon 11
It's so nice when family tries to help!
carminecris89 13
Cats are awesome, but your sister is a ****. Enjoy the cat, but put your sister on notice.
Angelastic_fml 18
Ugh. A living creature should not be given as an unsolicited gift. Still, at least you're single, so nobody gave you an unwanted human baby for your birthday.