Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
theycallmekitty 13
My cousin is older than you and just got married last month so don't lose hope! Maybe you will meet a fellow cat owner now!
interesting33 37
This is true! And there are SO many celebs and comedians too who are wonderful but single.. Benedict Cumberbatch, Jon Richardson, Stephen Fry etc :) I think Colin Morgan might be single too and Wentworth Miller but not sure :)
Lizardgirl 7
Leonardo Dicaprio :)
HortonThelephant 15
The traditional custom is one cat for every year.
delaneyluke 5
Meow darling
kevinhenning 4
As long as you don't get 20 cats like some other lonely people
razzledazzle21 23
Who said she's lonely? Just because you're single doesn't mean you're all alone, family and friends help quite nicely with that!
Angio113 10
Psh, who needs diamonds; cats are a girls best friend. (:
seriouslygenuine 10
Gotta start somewhere
Joshwarrior 39
hey if its a kitten you can't really stay mad, they're so cute.
alligator729 15
At least you're not like deathly allergic to cats or something, making this FML 10 times worse :O
MGITSWFTC 17
Just wait, in five years you'll be spending all your money on cat food and eating nothing but yogurt as a girl spies on you from your skylight and writes terrible things about you in her diary
Stefanie88 24
What??
mansen 15
harriet the spy! ??? if I remember my childhood books correctly. But I may be wrong. Age has made my memory....what?
Stefanie88 24
I guess I missed out on that book :/
Jaxx66 21
wow, makes me think back on fond memories... but now that i really think of it. she wasnt a very nice kid. LOL
sexyserendipity 1
Well,I'm single too,and much youger so if you are cute and smart..maybe we could...
Zemmiphobia 11
FML... Now a dating site.