Fragile

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

Classic

Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

But… why would you do that?

Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML

Hydrate!

Today, I bought a fancy reusable water bottle because I wanted to be properly hydrated. On the first day, I filled it, put it in my backpack, and went to work. Six hours later, I discovered the lid wasn't fully closed. My laptop survived, but every document in my bag smelled like cucumber. FML

Big kid

Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

Pissed

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

A bit early for all that

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

Unforgettable

Today, I bought a fancy reusable water bottle because I wanted to stop buying plastic ones. On the first day, I left it on the roof of my car while loading groceries. I remembered it when I heard a loud clunk at the next intersection. FML