Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today my boyfriend overeats when he is upset, and normally keeps tight hold of his diet to control his weight. He assures me he’s happy about it, but since I told him I’m pregnant 3 weeks ago, he’s put on 28 pounds. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should tell your idiot boyfriend that pretty much ALL babies are fat. Besides, he should be watching the baby's tushy jiggle. It's much cuter than the chin. Yes, I said "tushy". Yes, I have kids.
celiiceegee 6
And later you guys can watch his/her chin jiggle while she competes on the biggest loser.
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Comments (110)
equin0xx 6
Wow.You dont wanna get your kid overweight in infancy, it makes them much more prone to obesity later on. Plus as other commenters have said all babies ae in the chubby side. My son is average weight but he has little chipmunk cheeks ♥
tanlewis27 7
And you had sex with that guy???? You must be desperate lol.
awkwardpenguin1 3
Well at least he wants the baby with you instead if running away
simoncat 11
Boyfriend? And your knocked up. Well ain't that just fabulous? Another illegitimate child created by irresponsible people. And one with a planned obesity problem. Wow.
Ugi 27
Was it a surprise? Sounds like BF may be in shock! Sounds like he wants to be an involved dad, though, so not all bad!
Denny1 15
Poor Americans and there obsession with being fat .. Fat is not cute, it's not heathy and it's not fun
MBedford 2
Anytime some girl has her "boyfriend's" kid, I assume she is just a stupid person in general. Intelligent people wait until they are married and have a stable home setting. There is no such thing as an "accident baby" unless you were raped, which you weren't. You deserve it for hooking up with a moron, you moron.
lindaruiz 5
Aww, Congrats!
noelrenee 0
Thats adorable! Lol
sugarbear0727 19
Lmfao. At least he didn't freak out and leave you.