Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.
Today, I went up and spoke to someone at my local grocery store because I thought he was my neighbor. We chatted for nearly two minutes before he politely said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you are." I still had to finish shopping in the same aisle. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
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Top comments
dollars2doughnut 0
I don't know whether to feel pity or laugh in this case..
juicedboi 7
Should have said no, I'm the guy u slept with at that party a few months ago. By the way get yourself checked out. Then walk away
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Comments (78)
slushpup9696 12
Someones not winning.
niralz16 0
don't feel bad, my English teacher looks and sounds exactly like Alan. so at least you're not the only one :D
KiddNYC1O 22
Never attracted me.
rawrriri 8
"getting out" has nothing to do with looks.
TraceCase_ 19
Well, spend a lot of time outside. When she keeps seeing you on the other side of her bushes, she'll think the dorky guy from the grocery store is stalking her. That should freak her out pretty good.
FruitSalad4225 0
John Cryer is pretty cool.
taylorrswift 0
AHAHA. I love John though:)
S4ndsurph3r 4
at least u look famous.
Badtz_maru_fml 0
ahem, winning.
Commander223 9
YDI for looking like the dorky kid on two and a half men.