Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.
Today, I went up and spoke to someone at my local grocery store because I thought he was my neighbor. We chatted for nearly two minutes before he politely said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you are." I still had to finish shopping in the same aisle. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML
Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
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Top comments
dollars2doughnut 0
I don't know whether to feel pity or laugh in this case..
juicedboi 7
Should have said no, I'm the guy u slept with at that party a few months ago. By the way get yourself checked out. Then walk away
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Comments (78)
joshdairyman 6
charley sheen?
doom2 8
it could be worse?
claireful 4
yeah, she couldve mistaken him for Charlie sheen.
jennifer93 0
Allen's not bad looking though!
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
No no, she meant the kid :D Jk XD Just tell her she looks like the mother. You know, that old shriveled up piece of bacon of a woman :o
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Tell her you are. And that you're rich and have a nice beach house and you wanna **** >:D
CateXOX 0
I guess the dorky part is not exactly a compliment, but personally I think Alan isn't all that bad looking.
dudeitsdanny 10
And he's not a drugged-up loser.. Jon Cryer is awesome! Ducky's ******* cool. I was watching Pretty in Pink with my girlfriend last night, and couldn't help but wonder why Sheen's always been more popular, when Ducky is epic.
CateXOX 0
I love that movie! And I would definitely be more offended if I was told I looked like Charlie Sheen rather than Jon Cryer. Not that I look anything like either.
BAMF519 0
well... that crazy bitch
Predental 5
lol u wish you looked as awesome as sheen
toyotita4 3
I guess you can say your winning?
TheMonica 0
Ducky is awesome! Don't diss Ducky.
Osito2011 9
what a bitch. you should tp her house