Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my college dormitory accused me of something I didn't do, breaking a law that I never heard of, charged me $200 to fix "what I did wrong", and is forcing me to go to counciling at the school. Not only was I not on campus when it happened, but I was the one who reported the problem. FML
Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML
Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML
Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I got written up at work for not cleaning up the breakfast area, and because multiple guests complained how sloppy and messy it looked. I'm on lockdown in a completely different country. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
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Top comments
DontModMeDammit 10
Teleportation, that's my major too!
Adrena_fml 5
.... At least you have proof of where you were
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Comments (95)
thisiscat 14
stalking people always works.
blackbeltfighter 4
Just go to guy above him or the campus security/police (they should have all records of things like this), I don't know laws in Canada but you should have a right to see the video and prove innocents, if they fail to show even show they have a video. Then they're lieing thru their teeth.
perdix 31
Too bad your face is the model for a creepy clown mask popular with criminals.
RabidBunny 10
Another case of mistaken identity! Your identical twin screwed you again D:
LMA0 5
Wincest!
LMA0 5
Come on it was punny. Obviously it was a joke:p
deviable 9
An old joke.
LMA0 5
It was different because I said it after he said "screwed" so I was using it as a pun. Not the lame old "o ur mom saw you n ur gf having sex.. Wincest time!!".
FatTony2010 4
You have a watertight alibi, there is nothing to be worried about :)
texashater75 16
Unless they were on an Italian cruise.
LMA0 5
36- Haha that probably should be more sad than funny but I laughed :D
FatTony2010 4
The OP was in the Caribbean and not the med!
ifoundalaska 11
Well they're ******* stupid
DocBastard 40
Wait wait wait...why hasn't anyone noticed the sheer and utter bullshit in this FML? WHO THE HELL SLEEPS ON A CRUISE SHIP? There is always a buffet somewhere, the casino is open all night, and there are single people crawling all over the place just looking for someone to screw. Why the **** were you sleeping??
garebear13 4
Well if you read it again...it's talking about the camera footage and then the time. So the footage of the crime was caught when OP was sleeping because that's what time it was?
ninjadinos 14
27- you missed the point a bit..
Llama_Face89 34
Ah HA! A hole in OPs alibi!
BAxSoulCity 1
WARNING!! WARNING!! TROLL ALLERT!!
ninjadinos 14
No no no! I don't buy it! You cloned yourself to go on that cruise for an alibi, and then vandalized the wall in your school. You had it all planned out!
OffToTheGayBar 9
Why miss a cruise? They probably had the clone vandalize the wall.
ninjadinos 14
Maybe. But then they wouldn't have gotten the satisfaction of destructing school property!
OffToTheGayBar 9
I'd rather be on a cruise than vandalize school property.
ninjadinos 14
What? Really? I couldn't imagine...
DrNuggetcase 3
Ah man that sucks! Something similar happened to me last October, my teacher accused me of teepee-ing the school, saying the security cameras caught me. It couldnt have possibly been me because that night I was in another town beating the shit out of homeless people with a lead pipe. Mistaken identity's the worst.
Mole116 4
Watch out, we've got a badass over here!
OfficeNinja 5
That's OK. The University Of Florida accused me of having beer in my dorm fridge when I was home in Miami. My dumb ass chicken shit frat pledge boy hid his stash in my fridge to avoid getting busted when his gay playmate frat pledge brothers were in the room having a "party". I made him take responsibility and clear it all up. But I still made fun of him. Welcome to college life.