Miscellaneous: Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea....

By highleyj - 01/04/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 259

You deserved it 19 927

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 431

You deserved it 4 697

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 635

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 650

You deserved it 38 889

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 179

You deserved it 4 208

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 1 709

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 124

You deserved it 53 766

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 9 148

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 713

You deserved it 35 110

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 612

You deserved it 2 724

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 879

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:04

why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.

McButterpants 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:03

I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..

Comments

FlyingMonkey_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 21:49

You have a tongue, use it.

pinkdis0rder 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 21:52

THAT'S HILARIOUS.

tiptippytoe 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:00

you're an idiot

ttonks007 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:00

i'm so upset that #6 beat me to posting that solution, because that's definitely what i came here to say. oh well, great minds and whatnot. i'm just curious about what you did with the money afterwards.

THIS_FML_SUCKS 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:04

Obviously fake.

jkd_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:04

ewww, all those disease from the bill..

fmyfinglifelol 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:09

talk about money going down the toilet.....

Superman8_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:15

put a sock over your hand and do work on that ass son!

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 19 October 2013 7:55

haha funny

hinice 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:16

Yeah, I'm just imagining all the germs that were shoved up your butt as you wiped. I definitely would hav done the pants-half-on thing and just gone to another stall.

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:19

LOL #54, did you just call every single person in the EU a fag? That's excellent. And for the record #53...... our economy isn't doing so hot either or did you not notice?