By CyberPsycho - 28/07/2016 16:24 - United States - Nashville

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML
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You deserved it 6 130
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Top comments

whysobeachy 37

Making assumptions is a stupid thing to do, but then, if she DID inflict self-harm, it's not like she'd admit it that easily.

338 19
awesumous 16

Don't let this one awkward misunderstanding stop you in the future. Keep doing this and one day you may save a life. Btw you're a really good person for caring

317 21

Comments

lemon666 11

I can see where you would think that she could be hurting herself. I, like OP's coworker, have a lot of cuts and scrapes on my legs from things like falling on old stairs and cutting my leg on an exposed nail, my dog cutting my leg with his demon claws when I try to hold him back and not attacking a person at the door, etc.

1 0
graphicstyle7 17

And.. you work with her. I know you meant well, but are you a close friend outside of work? If you're not, you are being very intrusive, even as you try to help. Point is, I'm sure she does not want someone who knows her in a professional sense to know intimate details about her life. I'm guessing she may of lied to you to give herself back some privacy that you barged into. You may of done better by her by mentioning a friend who cut themselves, then told them what she or he did about it, without mentioning her legs or trying to assume things that are embarrassing at any time, much less at work.

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Colon_Man 17

I walk with an obvious limp from several surgeries and I get people who jokingly ask if I stubbed my toe. "Yeah. I stubbed it on an IED back in 08."

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fishinpink 20

as awkward and funny as this is I would like to personally thank you for having the heart love and guts to do this for someone bc I've spent the last 14 years (half my life) as a cutter and had someone taken the time to notice and reach out to me like this it might have made a huge difference in my life and even where I am at today. God bless you OP

2 0
TheNewGuy03 28

The best thing to do is to not assume anything, but if you insist on doing so, at least assume something positive so people don't get pissed.

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pandalover69 26

Wow, that's none of your business. If they're scars then why would you even say something? Scars means they've been there a while. Even if they were fresh scratches it's still not ok to be so direct. Just ask if everything is going ok.

2 2
GuiltyEren 11

Honestly OP, I know you're trying to be helpful but don't ever point out someone else's scars. You can make them feel seriously horrible, whether you're trying to help or not. Don't make them talk about it. You know that they know and they know that you know. You can just tell them that you're there for them if they ever need you. That's it. Leave it at that.

2 1
Isa_fml 20

As someone who self harms I would find this really presumptuous and insulting. Mind your own business. I have a lot of visible scars and it would be nice to be able to just wear shorts when it's hot outside without some jackass commenting on them. It's personal, and unless we're close, I think asking about it or mentioning it is inappropriate.

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Bearsmomma 30

Not all people that self harm have close friends to reach out. In fact, I imagine there are MANY that WISH they had someone to show concern or someone to talk to. I agree not everyone feels okay with being approached. But I don't think it's a good idea to skip helping someone that DOES want/need it because some don't want help.

1 0
uchihadesendent 14

He pulled her aside and his concern was touching your attitude towards things like this will only cause trouble for others who want to speak about this. Self-righteousness will get you nowhere and as someone that has depression I wouldn't care I would welcome the concern and again he pulled her aside to tell her.

1 0
fishinpink 20

hey bearsmomma you I love ya girl and I am THAT person without much of anyone to reach out to about my self harm. not anyone while I was growing up to or sure. and even when I opened up to my parents about it (which just so happened to be bc I got caught stones off my ass and asked if they'd rather me he smoking pot or cutting myself to deal with my depression to which they responded "you're not depressed. you're grounded." lovely. it wasn't until 2007 when I cut a 10 inch long by 1+ inch deep incision into my left arm attempting suicide that I was hospitalized and finally began receiving treatment for my junk. had my ex not call 911 I would have died and I would have been ok with that back then. my scar is still very visible and people ask me about it all the time. and I'm just straight up about it anymore "I tried to kill myselfself and I'm a cutter." but 10 years ago I was ashamed and embarrassed but still would be intentionally careless about others seeing my wounds so maybe someone souls offer me some help...nobody ever did. today I am well medicated and see a therapist and psychiatrist combo and haven't had a cutting episode since February or March this year. that's practically a record for me. OP has a pure and gentle loving heart and I admire that and am grateful for it too.

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RosaMaravillosa 10

Hey, that was a nice thing to do. Better safe than sorry right?

1 0
Ash_U78 12

Even If she was hurting herself, unless you are also her best friend I don't understand why you would think you were entitled to that information about her. I understand trying to be supportive, but it just pisses me off when people you barely know think that they can ask you about or bring up deeply personal issues. If you want to be supportive, then try being her friend for a while before bringing up something like that. YDI

0 2