Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, I went to a party with 5 of my friends. Within five minutes, they'd all paired up and gone. Then it was just me, drinking my pain away. FML
Today, after two months of being teased by my friends for getting wasted and passing out from only one shot, I learned that I wasn't actually too weak to handle the alcohol. My "friends" had secretly laced my drink with sleeping pills. They're now teasing me for believing them. FML
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
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Top comments
DrSo 15
1. You had a non-alcoholic house party in Germany. 2. You fell for your own set up. How do you NOT deserve it?!
lakerfan8224 17
The mind is a powerful thing.
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Comments (128)
worldclassrager 41
Non Alcoholic beer/wine/liquor does have alcohol in it it's just very low...and you and two others had a bit much....
cristy91 33
65, I think a lot of people picked up on the difference which is why only OP and her two buddies acted like it. Then again, I'm assuming a house party has a considerable number of guests. For all we know, there was only five people instead of thirty five
AestheticGuy 21
You cannot get drunk of such little amounts of alcohol diluted with large amount of liquids.
Enslaved 38
Maybe all the beer you provided was nonalcoholic. . . I'm a BYOB type of girl and I'm sure others did the same. It's common courtesy not to go to a party empty handed. :P
Kozmotis 8
Lets just hope that nobody plays a jedi mind trick on you.
brittyboo123 35
Round of applause for OP.
Jellybean22 14
Oh jeez. You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you?
nickyp30 8
How?
anchorsaweigh003 13
soo, you're your own friend, OP?
rockydify 22
The brain is a mysterious beast.
masterblaster288 14
Serves you right for trying to trick your friends
AtomicDiamond87 15
Sure doesn't sound like much fun