Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, because no one else was willing to, I had to explain to my uncle that he's white, that I'm not his grandfather, and that he's mentally challenged. FML
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that, "Old people are allowed to tell the truth." FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Grandparents always have the best racist compliments. My grandpa loves everyone, but hates every race. So he always says that person is a good insert racial epithet here after they leave.
lex1459 38
I once had to tell my mom that saying "you're out of your cotton picking mind" was racist.
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Comments (65)
YourBoyCam 9
Your fault for dating a black guy
sstahpp 33
Hahahaha..old people won't get it
feven 32
At this point I've given up trying to distinguish people's race solely on their voices. I've been wrong too many times before.
JKPwnage 27
They say the darnedest things...
IWishIWasObama 12
Scabba do bop
albertozeta_fml 9
Well, sometimes the search for racism goes a little bit too far. "Black" voices exist, it's not racism, it is the reality. There are even white boys and girls who have "black" voices like Amy Winehouse.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
That's true, but I think the problem was that grandma described the voice as nice BECAUSE it didn't sound black. As in, if they sounded black, they wouldn't sound 'nice'. That's how it reads to me.
albertozeta_fml 9
But maybe that's because she doesn't love that kind of voice, even if the way chosen to express the concept was a bit unappropriated.
little_one 20
Not sure if OPs grandma is racist or just thinks out loud. It's not exactly a compliment but she may not have meant it in a negative way. Just that he doesn't sound how she expected... Old people have a funny way of saying things since they grew up in a very different time.
Vestin 18
#34: Society can be somewhat touchy when it comes to certain characteristics, huh? If I said "I don't like women who are blonde", nobody would bat an eye; If I said "I don't like women who are black", I'd probably be called a racist immediately. The difference between violent bigotry and arbitrary preferences can get lost with some people...
geren 15
Well, hair color can be changed. Skin color cannot.
Ichiya 29
That doesn't make one preference better than the other.
albertozeta_fml 9
Tell it to Michael Jackson or Beyoncé.
Tripitaka 21
Well... I guess that is kind of a progress... :/
arachnophile 13
And that's reminder that there's still progress to be made. Hope she was able to understand, OP.
mom_of_5 10
Had to have been Darius Rucker
little_one 20
I've said stuff like this before. Well like that song all about that bass totally thought she was black. It's hard to explain something about tone or style makes you think what race they are.
limabeans101029 21
True, but she was implying that sounding black is a bad thing