Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML
Today, my cousin invited me to an event that'll be happening on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fatman1970 25
Your 24? Surely you have the right to meet whatever boys you want.
imnotc00l 10
If your parents aren't allowing you to live your life it might be time to try and move out.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
rvontr88 21
Seriously? Grow up. If you're gay, it's time to come out and move out. If you're straigh, yeah it's just time to grow up and start dating men...
cheeeksss 29
What? What does sexual orientation have to do with this?
odamaliekh 26
#15, don't be such a douche.
alvarny 17
it depends, are you a boy or a girl and does your parent know...
militarybrat 21
Why does it matter if op is a boy or girl? Answer: it DOESNT.
cassidi24 10
Haha I kinda know how that feels. I'm 21 and am moving out into my own house but I'm still not allowed I have a guy over while living at my parents house. Gotta love em!
jvanevery 19
it all depends I would have been very awkward about a strange young man suddenly appearing in my house in the morning if on the other hand were talking about your long-term squeeze that everybody knows it wouldn't be so awkward
xx000o 27
Somebody needs to grow up, and/or get some "balls"
Zharroth 4
Sounds like a little monster
Jets4Life89 4
So umm....tell your ******* mom that?
HitmanKillsYou 13
sounds to me like your brother has shitty taste in video games.
TheGingerKang 3
Sounds like you've never played Halo. Sounds like you're judging it before even knowing it. SOUNDS like you're a dick.
CharismaGeek 19
SOUNDS LIKE you're a butthurt Halo fan.
TheGingerKang 3
Sounds like you only have an insulting way to describe me. My ass isn't hurting so your statement is inaccurate. I can defend what I enjoy.
GrymReefer420 9
halo is one of the greatest video game franchises ever. sounds like you're a disgruntled PlayStation owner.
kuro21 20
Does anyone think that maybe OP is gay and hasn't told his parents yet?
mads_fml 7
I thought about that
am_bugg 20
That was my first thought actually.
warped_executive 16
Cod ftw tho
dragoongirl90 34
Really? CoD is a great game. HALO is an equally great game, in different ways. Shut your loose hole before someone sticks in something you don't want in there, fanaticgirl.
TheGingerKang 3
Arguments like these are why gamers all hate each other for different tastes.
warped_executive 16
Lol shut the **** up wow
GrymReefer420 9
yeh cod is sooooo good.... they put the same game out like twice a year....
FuckThisLogin 32
Damn, I wish I got free shit for no reason :(
countryb_cth 38
Start blackmailing people. It may back fire but hey, free stuff.