Miscellaneous: Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 245

You deserved it 5 501

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Same thing different taste

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 233

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 600

You deserved it 56 761

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 13 428

Out it comes

By emilyupsidedown - 16/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 037

You deserved it 31 785

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 1 398

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 456

You deserved it 85 811

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 122

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 596

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 7 490

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 268

You deserved it 14 166

Next

Top comments

ki087 20

Saturday 5 March 2016 1:19

dude, get some chapstick.

ComoEsJuan 24

Saturday 5 March 2016 1:24

Maybe you've been mind controlled by an evil wizard to slowly commit autocannabilsm.

Comments

Stonerbunny69 3

Saturday 5 March 2016 5:30

I use Chapstick and EOS LIP BALMS

Britt125 16

Saturday 5 March 2016 6:10

You know they make stuff for that, right? Blistex medicated , polysporin, and EOS balms work pretty well. For me anyway, I have a difficult time finding a good chapstick but those ones are pretty good.

primespore 12

Saturday 5 March 2016 7:14

So I'm not the only one?

Bekll 31

Saturday 5 March 2016 9:17

I peeled off my entire lower lip yesterday. The new lip scrub from nugg has been helping.

mm12344 8

Saturday 5 March 2016 10:01

The imagery makes me cringe.

suffermyname 15

Saturday 5 March 2016 10:33

You should put a little olive oil (or honey) on some sugar (brown if you have it), mix it up, and use it as a lip scrub.

aliciousness116 16

Saturday 5 March 2016 11:53

Don't lick your lips, it gets drier. Use Vaseline petroleum jelly rather than fragrant chapsticks. I read that, they're instant healers. Hydrate yourself.

JustHereToSayYDI 11

Saturday 5 March 2016 12:54

My dad this obsession with chaptstick being bad - you'll always need it if you start. Use honey instead!

LittlefieldA757 10

Saturday 5 March 2016 13:53

burt's bees works like a charm. it stings a bit but it's best in the long run. try blistex or Vaseline.

miss_snazzypants 8

Saturday 5 March 2016 15:24

Vaseline!

dylanj5674 4

Saturday 5 March 2016 17:27

You are disgusting

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The Top

Today, my fat brother has nothing wrong with him. His blood pressure, cholesterol, and absolutely everything are perfectly normal, despite him being 10 stone overweight. I'm 12 stone and exercise regularly, yet I have 4 separate serious medical conditions, one of which might one day kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 193

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I woke up to find out that my phone, which contained all of my pictures and videos from the past year, had completely crashed. Despite trying everything, I couldn't recover any of the data, even from the cloud backup. All those memories, gone forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 172

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 450

You deserved it 3 937

Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 580

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 619

You deserved it 4 072

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 417

You deserved it 8 812

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 391

You deserved it 8 519