By chrisbravo - 23/08/2012 06:54 - United States

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 044
You deserved it 32 253

chrisbravo tells us more.

OP replies: It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

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Sounds like a shitty situation...I think it is time to Change your eating habits

I prefer pockets personally but I guess your way works too.

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Sounds like a shitty situation...I think it is time to Change your eating habits

...Or drinking habits.

Well, it takes 3 days to digest something right? So i'm guessing you didn't eat it yesterday...

Could the "beer shits" have sped up the process? I'm no doctor, so I really don't know.

Truly a Changing experience

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Sometimes I swear the FML community is fucking bipolar. Or a lot of idiots with horrible taste in jokes have made accounts.

#13 FYI it takes 4-5 hours to digest food lol Btw oP i hope the night was really good, doesnt matter if u dont kno wat u did :p

I can't think of a way in which the OP didn't deserve this. Also, props for the "change your eating habits" #1!

Good appetite!

@ManInTheMachine, I don't know, but I've fucked two polar bear once. Is that the same thing? I think they were both male.

Got change for a dollar?

OP replies: It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

Whoops! I must not have gotten the FML memo that the "sounds like a shitty situation" pun was funny again. My bad!

90- you made me laugh! Thanks!! Makes such a nice change to the usual bitchy and bitching comments on this site today!!

131 , it was mainly the "change your eating habits" part I'm pretty sure

You gotta little change in your colon going "jing-a-ling-a-ling."

I prefer pockets personally but I guess your way works too.

"You got change for a $5?" "Yeah, hold on. HURRRRGGGGGNNNNNN!!! Here you go." "...I don't want it anymore..."

Gives the dollar menu a whole new meaning.

*looking at change in pockets, wondering if it's been in someone's shit.

Didn't know people actually used Ass Pennies to get back at people haha

Now, we can see that your "two cents worth" literally isn't worth a shit (12 cents).

Best comment

OP is lucky to be alive. If those were to get stuck somewhere, they would have to have immediate surgery, if they detected the problem at all.

The doctors would have said "This guy must be insured. He has money up the whazoo!!!" *crickets* Hey, is this thing on?

You poor fool!

If he's shitting cash, I don't think he's a "poor" fool.

He's shitting change, he's a poor fool. If he were shitting cash he'd be a rich fool.

It's kinda like that goose that lays golden eggs...

Or an alien that shits jewel encrusted gold.

Yeasssssss 54 with the American Dad reference

Next time don't drink so much that you have no idea what you do *facepalm*

That's shitty for real

oh god, just… I don't even know what to say… please just stop. that's the crappiest pun ever. I wish it'd die!!

Penny for your thoughts, Shit-for-Brains?

Op replying; I happen to be smart. Drunken mistakes happen to the best of us.

Smart? If you were smart, you woulda' ate more money for later use.

Pennies and dimes for a kiss? I'm sure you weren't looking for this, but now it's in your way.

Haha awsome!