By chrisbravo - 23/08/2012 06:54 - United States

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML
I agree, your life sucks 8 048
You deserved it 32 291

chrisbravo tells us more.

chrisbravo 4

OP replies: It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

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Top comments

ConnorBrown36 5

Sounds like a shitty situation...I think it is time to Change your eating habits

305 33
slick5880 22

I prefer pockets personally but I guess your way works too.

161 1

Comments

GoingCommando93 14

What. I'd say something along the lines of... Oh maybe "that's an expensive shit." But whatever floats yer boat.

5 11
DocBastard 38

That's what I call cold hard cash! ...or hot, steaming cash.

43 1
SqueakyChipmunk 21

Damn it, Doc. I was just congratulating myself on not losing my appetite while reading FMLs, and here you come with this comment.

15 7
FirebirdF350 7

Squeeky, it's ok, just let the vomit roll off your tongue,

4 4
DontThumbMeDown 8

66 its Squeaky not Squeeky! Now run before she attacks you

5 4
outoftown 26

#55, FML is maintaining its reputation as a effective dieting device.

5 1
aadvdrak 11

You really checked what were you defecating?

3 19
gracehi 31

Yes. Even Oprah turns around to look at her poop.

14 1
efefef211 5

While standing up to flush he probably just saw it in the toilet bowl, most people would see what was in the toilet before they flushed. It's normal.

11 1
aadvdrak 11

It's not really normal from where I came from - or at least it is not in my family, though!

2 8
aadvdrak 11

Why would she? To notice if she noticed a million dollar in her turd?

3 7
gracehi 31

It's a reference to a famous episode of Oprah where she had a guest who was a doctor. He explained how to be "regular." He said, "Now when you turn around to look into the toilette--" She blurted out, "You mean I'm not the only one who does that???" Anyway, he went on to explain that your poop should be shaped like an "S" or a banana, and if it's not that means you're constipated.

10 2
klovely22 13

52. You are lying if you have never looked into the toilet after taking a dump.

6 1
jem970 19

That made me a litte queasy... But thanks for letting us know!

2 0
astralvagan 20

You should really worry if you swallowed a quarter and shit out two dimes and a nickel.

21 1
Killer_fel 15

He's a walking change machine! What will OP give me for 5 bucks?

6 0
Werken247 14

46- probably a ******** since he doesn't seem to care (or remember) what he puts in his mouth when he's drinking.

15 0
gracehi 31

Yeah, change is really binding, OP. Next time, try swallowing done paper money. It's just chock FULL of fiber. ;)

3 1
gracehi 31

*some paper money. Duck you autocorrect!

5 2
bandit5523 2

You better hope that's all you swallowed ;)

7 1
smilepatrol 7

I guess that explains why you had a hard time ********. Oops.

1 6
debbster7 18

I don't understand why anyone (including children) would swallow coins. They don't even look remotely appealing. I don't think this moron would have needed to be drunk to have done something stupid like that.

1 10
DocBastard 38

Children donor because they are small, shiny, and ubiquitous. Adults do it because they are drunk, stupid, or both.

12 0
FirebirdF350 7

Yes, doc is correct, as the doctor freud I believe it was said, there is an oral fixation stage in young children, anything they see during that stage they want to touch, hold, then taste and end up usually eating

4 1
debbster7 18

See, I understand the whole "kids are curious" part and I really don't judge kids. However, the guy was an adult (or at least I hope so), so he really has no excuse. Even if he was drunk, I think he was a moron for doing something that stupid.

4 2
RedPillSucks 31

The conversation most likely went like this (after a few drinks). Bro: Hey bro! I bet you can't swallow this dime and two pennies! Op: *gurgle, sniff* hell yesh, I can do annithin. Bro: prove it.... Op: *gack! ack! gulp* shee! I tol you! wadda I win? Bro: 12 cents, obviously... Op: shweet! uhm rich!!!

8 2