Animals: Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I...

By GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 513

You deserved it 3 041

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 4 160

By mista hunna - 08/09/2016 05:31 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 484

You deserved it 1 574

By Coldandshoeless - 08/01/2013 10:40 - United States - Hackettstown

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 290

You deserved it 6 432

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 580

You deserved it 916

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 05:16 - Canada

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 540

You deserved it 3 570

Poker face

By therealducktape - 20/08/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 3 539

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 4 028

Good boy

By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 5 953

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 846

You deserved it 4 302

By englishtrio - 18/04/2009 06:45 - United States

Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 237

You deserved it 3 580

WhyAmUHere 19

Thursday 5 September 2013 18:41

Well, maybe the dog just wanted the cookie in her pocket.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Thursday 5 September 2013 18:39

umm wow. hell of a neighbor you've got there. just take your dog back.

Comments

spikeismykitty 6

Wednesday 2 July 2014 4:23

Wtf

VenomnessKitteh 7

Monday 2 February 2015 2:32

if your dog is microchipped then the cops can just check that it the collar.

fantasyworld 37

Monday 23 November 2015 23:55

Hope you got your dog back.

Keywords

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Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 250

You deserved it 7 781

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 168

The Top

Today, my girlfriend is mad I won’t indulge her “Sleeping Beauty” fantasy. She doesn’t want me to just kiss her, she wants me to full on fuck her. Call me crazy but I just can’t get it up for a passed out person. Yes it’s consensual, but it just feels uncomfortable. She doesn’t get why I’m not into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 307

Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 105

Today, while on a flight, another passenger pulled their carry-on out of the overhead. They forgot about the filled, metal water bottle clipped to the outside until it nailed me on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 253

You deserved it 463

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 777

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 986

You deserved it 8 555

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 686

You deserved it 8 612

Same thing different taste

Poker face

Good boy

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