Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned there are people who will beat you up if you don't give them your spot on a bench. FML
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I got off a long shift and went to the bus stop. Upon arrival, I saw a girl giving a guy a blowjob. Disgusted, I tried to avoid them and sat on the bench to wait. The girl popped up angrily and looked over at me. "Can't you give us some privacy?!" This is the only bus stop nearby. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
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Top comments
dayzz1 10
Hahaha that's happened to me before. I just pushed them off :)
Roevera 14
I watched someone sit on a woman's bag of groceries. She had all her groceries on the last available seat on the crowded bus and refused to move them. He looked at her and said, "you mad bro?"
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Comments (130)
kateindeed 5
Free lap dances, op. No complaining.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It depends who is giving the lap dance though.
kateindeed 5
Have you ever been to a stripclub? Some of the girls there aren't that hot. A lap dance is a lap dance, enjoy it if it's free.
AddeU 0
What if it was a dude?
mstangchck 9
Added bonus?
philipino 24
Haha hey there sexy. . . Oh god what the he'll is that on your face!?! Oh, it's your face. *takes free lapdance*
candirose711 0
Yeah you wouldn't be saying that if some big helga lady came up and started giving you a lap dance. Or a old man hobo that reeks of piss.
jerseyboy732 16
consider yourself lucky... some people pay good money for that
lrgenesis 19
Takin the whole bench by yourself means your selfish ass deserves it lol jk
THE_A_TEEN 28
Go on..
astralvagan 20
Lesson learned..... Don't sit on full benches, or get up when you see Fat Bastard coming.
bizarre_ftw 22
Or call Austin Powers
cBlackout 13
Put that on a snapple bottle :Fact #369 If you sit on a bench, a crazy guy will sit on you.
snafubar 0
At least you didn't get a Jehovah's witness like I did, three days in a row...
goodfella925 0
Gosh there so annoying....
FMLsOhilarious 6
#49 They're*
Cryptic_Equinox 0
If a jehovah's witness sat on my lap three times.. Or even once.. Id start to get cautious... /snicker
THE_A_TEEN 28
He thought you were santa. All he wanted was to tell you what he wants this year. Chances are he wanted that AR-15 you "forgot" to get him last year. Don't forget ;)...
tmd4L 7
Did you talk about the first thing that popped up?
loopmeinoddone 0
I see this more as something funny that I'd classify as an epic moment than an FML.