Miscellaneous: Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner...

By coolster5000 - Canada - St. John's

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

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30597

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coolster5000 tells us more :

OP here, I find all of your "shitty situation" comments very unoriginal;) but funny all the same. I ended up just telling them I went in and found the toilet like that, but I'm not sure they believed me whatsoever.

Miscellaneous

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By Weirdo - United States

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38847

You deserved it

4785

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By boostedsaab - France

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38608

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4465

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26152

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3842

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By Anonymous

Drives

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2180

You deserved it

568

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By towelwindow - United States

Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46781

You deserved it

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By Des

Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3264

You deserved it

1097

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By Anonymous - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20846

You deserved it

1950

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By Leah - United States

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34627

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I almost died in the shower when I slipped and my dumbass self tried to grab the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1505

You deserved it

399

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By XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32740

You deserved it

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By LadySteveMartin - United States - Woonsocket

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51015

You deserved it

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By NotAnInLawFamilyMan - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35705

You deserved it

2937

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By toelie

Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3792

You deserved it

457

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By amya - Canada

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35245

You deserved it

9896

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By Anonymous - France - Paris

Minor Threat

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52247

You deserved it

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By Naomi - United Kingdom - London

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

55450

You deserved it

4887

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By RIPJarJar

Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4500

You deserved it

470

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By bushburn - 1/6/2020 02:00

Pubes of steel

Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice since his huge bush has left friction burns on my face and down below. He doesn’t see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1734

You deserved it

230

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By Anonymous

Stuck in the past

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1308

You deserved it

374

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By UkuleleTime - United States - Garner

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26015

You deserved it

1830

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By GroosedOut - United States

Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44519

You deserved it

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By Wealthyparrot - United States

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55518

You deserved it

3504

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By Noname - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58658

You deserved it

2428

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By Anonymous

Today, my biology teacher asked the class a question, so I raised my hand and after I gave my answer, my teacher said, "You know, you have a voice for radio. It's very deep." I replied with "Do I? Thanks!" He added, "You also have the face for radio." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6214

You deserved it

565

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28439

You deserved it

3138

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By metalmeow

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1616

You deserved it

184

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By Hallllo - United States

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

100078

You deserved it

9064

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By why does the world hate me - Canada - Toronto

Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20460

You deserved it

1647

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By Ouch - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46158

You deserved it

6787

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By TrolleyCollector - Australia - Seymour

Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14106

You deserved it

1981

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By haayloo - Canada

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13231

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25703

You deserved it

58826

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By hairball - United States

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73678

You deserved it

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By fuck your indoctrination - 26/3/2021 09:01 - United States

Batshit

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1318

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 24/8/2020 02:02

Heartless

Today, I received a positive Covid-19 test. Despite being largely asymptomatic, the company I work for decided that I've behaved with "gross neglect" by coming to work in an attempt to support the company's ambition, and promptly fired me with no benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1566

You deserved it

1385

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By FawnPrincess

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4113

You deserved it

417

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By Happy Employee - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37211

You deserved it

2694

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By mjayne17 - Canada

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51938

You deserved it

22215

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By Anonymous - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32432

You deserved it

3466

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By bmonehh - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45313

You deserved it

3474

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Top comments

By ZoroMiHawk | 25

#6280386 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:36

Just come out exclaiming your disgust at how you found a clogged toilet and warn the others in queue about it ;)

By briang959 | 46

#6280398 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:43

Own it and tell everyone to not eat the fried chicken at that store.

COMMENTS

By KayDee29 | 31

#6280377 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:27

Boy that sure is a crappy situation! Okay, I'll go reevaluate my life choices now...

HarshD9619 | 34

#6280413 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:56

You probably should....

Epikatz | 22

#6280414 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:58

You knew better..

OhYouMad | 12

#6280705 - Sunday 3 May 2015 20:56

Gettin' real tired of your shit.

noah_1234 | 24

#6281991 - Tuesday 5 May 2015 6:49

your name fits in so well

thebakingseal | 22

#6283108 - Wednesday 6 May 2015 12:14

What a waste of a perfectly good FML comment spot

By tacojauns | 45

#6280378 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:29

Run, just run before they notice

By Scryll | 17

#6280382 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:32

Well... Shit...

By briang959 | 46

#6280383 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:32

I can't wait to read the "shitty situation" comments in 3...2...1. They're so original.

Sandsh8rk | 36

#6280493 - Sunday 3 May 2015 15:47

Verbally anticipating the inevitable puns is just as bad as the puns themselves.

coklara | 15

#6281143 - Monday 4 May 2015 6:34

Anticipating about anticipating comments is equally awful.

False_Stupidity | 41

#6281145 - Monday 4 May 2015 6:38

On tipoff #4 being too late since #1 is exactly that

Drosophila82 | 18

#6281974 - Tuesday 5 May 2015 6:14

That's actually ironically savvy... I don't understand what dorks would give you negative reviews... WHO DID THIS MAN OFFEND TO GET NEGATIVE 24 THUMBS DOWN! It must be the Sarcastically Impaired!

By rydin10 | 18

#6280385 - Sunday 3 May 2015 12:36

I mean there's only two options really. One is to tell the people to hold on and notify the employees, and the other is to simply just bolt and never see any of them again :l

Stazza11 | 27

#6280980 - Monday 4 May 2015 2:51

The second option sounds more like my kind of reaction. No explanation just bust out of the doors running and screaming like a mad man with a trail of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.