Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
grumpybr 13
Parents not doing a good job uh?
cuppycakeslove 20
Why haven't your parents taught him?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
feldco1 17
This 100% falls on the parents. It's not your responsibility to make up for your their lackluster effort.
cat_owned 3
..Sounds like my almost-14 year old, (younger) brother. Teach him now, it only gets worse.
VeganVampyre 27
Sounds like my 18 year old younger brother. He just graduated high school and he has no clue how to do any kind of cooking or cleaning- he can't even peel an orange by himself. If he ever moves out on his own he'll probably starve to death in his never been cleaned apartment :/
Axel5238 29
It's amazing how some people are still babied by their parents. When I was 21 I had a roommate that couldn't cook hamburger helper because he was afraid of screwing it up he hadn't really ever cooked for himself before. Same with a female friend that though living on your own was just partying all and couldn't clean her place or do dishes.
SMHsohard 22
Sometimes people just don't realize that children don't miraculously pick up basic survival skills, hygiene being one of them. They actually have to be taught that becoming acquainted with soap and water on a regular basis is a good thing. After awhile it (hopefully) sinks in. When my step daughter was 11, we literally had to drag her kicking and screaming into the bathroom to shower. A year later, I was ready to slide her meals under the door because she never came out!
17This_Is_Me17 8
Your brother needs to grow up &' your parents need to step up ..
KiddoKS 19
You definitely need to talk to your parents. Kids are ruthlessly honest and he's going to end up being known as the "stinky kid." Growing up is hard enough without trying to break free of that kind of stigma.
buckdharma 38
I'm wondering who wipes his ass?
KiddoKS 19
I'm guessing that falls under the "hygiene" category... Skid Marks very likely
LissaMccracken 23
Sounds like my little brother, only if i told him to do it himself, he'd probably get slapped by my mom. FYL
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Unless you want to take care of him for the REST OF YOUR LIFE you might want to start teaching him how to take care of himself.
frazrael 2
Sadly I've seen worst.... A 19 year old that don't know how to cook ground beef
VeganVampyre 27
And your point is..? I don't know how to cook ground beef either, because I'm vegetarian and don't eat ground beef. I do know how to cook lots of other things, though, so I don't see the problem.
trbuson 11
*doesn't A lot of people don't really know how to cook at that age until they get out on their own for a while or have to prepare the food at home while the parents work.
brittyboo123 35
I guess I must be mistaken.. I thought your parents were to teach your brother all those things?