Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she gave me a really long recipe and said, "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic." I work at Starbucks. FML
Today, at work, I’ll admit that I wasn’t in a good mood. I work in fast food, and I went to hand this guy his food without looking and he didn’t grab it. I got frustrated so I FINALLY looked. With an equally as upset look, I noticed the guy didn’t have arms, so I’d just been shoving food in his face. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Oh I'm on the menu, sir. You just can't afford me."
elk21dbm 18
Well that's rather uncomfortable...
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Comments (109)
MrJayshemar 3
that man has game
Sideshowray94 8
Hannibal is that you?
kueves87 4
Today, after reading this FML, I realized this is something my dad would say.... FML
Karan0217 6
Old guy be using pick up lines. lol
Sudden_flame57 5
I would feel flattered.
pdp_fml 21
You must be cute!
lallolindo 10
his pimp game is immortal! XD
lallolindo 10
"I'm sorry sir but you'd have to order out of the menu, and that's out of your price range, " *walks away feeling accomplished that she just pwned an elderly man
kpohil 13
and no tip. her j9b is to make guys like her to give her money beyond the price of the menu.
JoyfulBella25 8
I've had this happen to me too. I think the guy was high when he asked me to stick my finger in his drink. Über creepy.
kpohil 13
sorry but can someone please explain the fml. she got a complement and a big tip most likely which is the goal or a waitress.