Work: Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt...

By CMANIA - 07/09/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 039

You deserved it 6 632

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Same thing different taste

Nervous nelly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 99

So that's a no, I guess

By Marie - 08/06/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 484

You deserved it 4 801

By fired101 - 08/02/2010 06:04 - France

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 448

You deserved it 7 426

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 311

You deserved it 2 446

Spunky

By grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 469

You deserved it 5 453

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 171

Mostly okay

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 263

What are you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 632

You deserved it 12 961

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 309

Not what you think

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 06:00

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 255

Intoxicunt 5

Tuesday 8 September 2009 9:26

That wasn't disbelief, it was amazement and arousal. (You mean "ink" not "pen".)

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 8 September 2009 9:29

He only wishes he could've "accidentally" gotten "ink" on your nipple ;D

Comments

IHazNoUsername 9

Thursday 31 July 2014 19:26

Aaaand that's why I always bring a jacket whenever I wear white. That must've been awkward, op.

MadHoney 9

Monday 25 August 2014 17:43

Job promotion

dammmnnnn 6

Thursday 2 October 2014 22:51

1st time reading, I figured vice President was referring to Joe biden lol

bassfisher100 23

Monday 23 November 2015 21:52

unfortunate circumstances, but still... i cracked up at the thought of it

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had a migraine. I decided to wear earplugs to block out sound while I slept. I don't usually wear them because they hurt my ears like nobody's business. The one day I wear earplugs, I get robbed. In the middle of the day. Through my own bedroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 143

Today, my boss yelled at me for leaving on time. After months of management hounding us about our overtime, I get in trouble for doing what I was supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 535

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 084

You deserved it 25 371

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 513

You deserved it 10 831

You can't stay mad at that face for too long!

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 145

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 1 831

Same thing different taste

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