Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML
Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML
Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
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Top comments
dancer4moon 8
She's rude!
breakingbad_fml 27
At least she didn't try and kill you herself. With that being said: Your mom is rude. ***Didn't see that first comment there, sorry.
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Comments (224)
brew07 5
sucks op
maz95 17
She must've been really angry, best stay out of her way for a while!
Olivxr 5
orange you glad it wasn't an apple
minidinosaurgoes 9
Well, an apple wouldn't kill her...
Olivxr 5
orange you glad it wasn't an apple
gigi1981 13
Awesome! Made me lol
GlitterValentina 12
She's a terrible person to say that; I can't even fathom how emotionally devastating that is to hear your own parent tell you to kill yourself.
lilhellian 27
Nothing emotional hurts as bad when one locks away their heart... But mental pain can more then make up for it...
TrippingOnAcid 29
Allergic to fruit pahahaha. I hate the stuff but allergic?
demonwolfmaster 26
It is a true allergy the list of fruit i cant eat is a mile long bananas are on that list
pheebs314 17
You can be allergic to anything. I break out in hives if I'm around certain kinds of ply wood.
Catkam623 27
Wow how can you go to houses
nanny1010 12
I'm allergic to all fruit and veggies. It's definitely a real thing.
lysx84 24
No. Just no. Fruit and veg are so biologically different that there can be no possible common allergen in all of them. Not liking something and being allergic are very different things. Get a grip.
lysx84 24
Oh, and bananas aren't even fruit.
HannahLouise96 13
It's very possible to be allergic to fruit. I can't be near tomatoes without breaking out in hives.
cantgetworse14 2
Well I'm allergic to all fruit and veggies sometimes reactions are worse than other times its called oral allergy syndrome
SusanBieber 10
It's true. I'm allergic to all fruit. Even if I use a soap that's got fruit in it for scent I break out in hives and my throat has closed multiples times when I was younger from eating apples, pineapples, oranges, tomatoes, etc.
bps315 12
eat it haha
zombieslayer83 19
Now people are going to want to ban fruit.
j_cat187 20
With our banana buy back program we took 356 bananas of the streets saving 356 lives!
KM96 24
What the hell?! What brought that on?
melissabeebe 6
You must be driving her bananas.