Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got pissed after my boyfriend tried mansplaining breastfeeding to me. I’ve nursed two children of my own, stocked and sustained two big freezers full, and still had leftovers to donate to preemies. He tried saying pumping "doesn’t increase supply" and that I just “got lucky” making so much. FML
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, I quit my job because I wasn't given the time or space to pump for my newborn child. I went back to work 4 weeks postpartum, and they suggested I pump in the bathroom, my car or the freezer. FML
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Give it time, OP, and I guarantee you'll turn things around. After a while, you'll be able to control the fat content of the milk and produce 2%, 1%, and then fat free! Eventually, you might even master chocolate milk!
liinkinparkfan97 34
Awe no, that sucks! Hopefully you'll be able to pump more soon and maybe even more!
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Comments (54)
YFOS_fml 17
whoever said don't cry over spilt milk has never spilt a bottle of breast milk. that sucks op
GhostFox 34
You could try drinking fennel tea and eating it in your diet- it's thought to not only increase breast milk supply, but it also passes through the breast milk and can help relieve colic symptoms for babies. So maybe talk to your doctor about it, see if it might be an option for you.
pregnantfatty 10
So sorry mama! I hated spilling my milk. I was an EP mom for 9 months so I feel your pain. Pumping is just the worst. Make sure your flanges fit right, massage while you pump, and do your very best to relax! You've done it once so you know you can do it again :)
MumInTimeOut 9
Just remember that what you pump in no way reflects what your supply is xx
KJ6 21
Been there and done it multiple times. You'll get better, trust me.
ImTheDoctor11 0
oh no!!