Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, after finally breaking my addiction to sleeping pills, right as I was drifting off to sleep at my first decent drug-free time in over 4 years... I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML
Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML
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Top comments
lmz1986 10
I'm not sure if OP's username would actually help the situation, but whatever works.
HelloSirs 14
You are forgetting the first rule.
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Comments (68)
panda_lou 11
If you dissolve chocolate in your mouth they will go away. Every time I get them I grab some dove chocolate covered almonds (yum!!) and they go away super fast.
Deviant_fml 5
Who says '**** my life' because they got hiccups? I'd be grateful as hell if that's the worst of your problems...
babygirl4855 11
Take a paper towel and put over a glass of water and drink. Looks funny but it really does work. It helps with the air bubbles.
tialeanne 19
I've heard that you're supposed to take the deepest breath you can, hold it for 10 seconds, then without letting it out, suck in more air, hold it for 5 seconds, and then finally suck in the last little bit of air that you can. Hold that for another 5 seconds and then release all of it. It immobilizes your diaphragm which will not allow it to continue spasming. Works for me!
relapse22 7
massage your rectum! sounds crazy I know, but I've read a lot about it. (no personal experience though as I don't tend to get hiccups to that extent haha!)
zandalee 20
How the hell do you massage your rectum for the love of God?!
relapse22 7
Lol, I've heard great things about it!
jerry2011 4
Just try holding your breath for 30-40 seconds, you may need to repeat this a couple of times. Disclaimer: Holding breath for too long may cause irreparable damage, even death.
WelcomeToAndale 13
Life's a bitch, and then some...
noshatsherlockk 15
My dad went through chemo therapy and one of his side effects was having hiccups for 2 months straight. I can't even imagine.
cshell424 10
I'm a sanctimonious fucktard
pags123 6
if your ugly it will be that way for a long time