Miscellaneous: Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud...

By Sparks - 13/03/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 14 979

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Same thing different taste

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 5 231

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 55 165

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 03:20 - United States - Auburn

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 235

You deserved it 3 474

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 266

You deserved it 35 647

Stuck

By Chub - 27/10/2009 04:45 - United States

Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 8 681

Party girl

By Abby - 11/11/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 078

You deserved it 39 588

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 302

You deserved it 5 738

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 3 337

MissGrinch 4

Sunday 13 March 2011 12:33

Upside down? For 1 hour? Wouldn't a person lose consciousness rather quickly?

UpsidedownKayak 9

Sunday 13 March 2011 13:28

Any plan that was thought of and attempted "after a few beers" is never fool proof because, at that point, you are a fool.

Comments

Got_any_grapes1 4

Monday 14 March 2011 5:37

You deserve it for having too many beers. GET ADDICTED TO GRAPES, NOT ALCHOHOL.

MissBunny25 0

Monday 14 March 2011 5:57

omg 44 I love your picture :D

hales1432 0

Monday 14 March 2011 7:36

pretty sure if you were "hanging upside down for an hour" , you'd be dead right now. ehich clearly you aren't. exaggeration? I think so.

TheJtSwift 0

Monday 14 March 2011 19:50

Ima call BS on this FmL.....

brunettegurly 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 2:05

this made me chortle x3

twirlgirl198 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 7:09

WTF!!!!!! cops r so ****** messed up

LilaBear 1

Wednesday 16 March 2011 7:20

"It was foolproof until my foot got stuck"... well obviously it wasn't foolproof then.

cupcakes729 7

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:59

1 hour? wouldnt you be unconscious by then? and if I were you, I would have just fell and taken the risk.

elliee2llie 0

Monday 15 August 2011 17:52

I bet you were just pushing a pull door!

hannahbear99 8

Sunday 14 October 2012 4:37

Wow.. 

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The Top

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 121

Today, I’m coming to accept that my wife’s relationship with her phone and her social media is deeper and more intimate than it will ever be with me. I can’t afford to leave her, her sister's a lawyer, she’ll take everything I still love in the divorce. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 288

You deserved it 3 263

Today, for my birthday, I got a hotel room for me and my boyfriend. He decided that spending time with a female friend was more important than spending time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 100

Today, literally the only thing that now motivates my husband to do anything is sex. Not food, money, humour, or anything. Once he’s had sex, he’ll do anything I ask him to for about 8 hours, then he turns back into a depressing, shiftless lump who either goes to work, sits in his chair, or sleeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 353

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 551

You deserved it 8 716

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 723

You deserved it 24 971

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 678

You deserved it 4 012

Same thing different taste

Break in

Stuck

Nice try

Stuck

Party girl

Paranoid

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

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