Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, I feel hung over. Don’t feel up to anything except slouching on the sofa, nursing my headache. Must have been one hell of a party, lots of booze, right? Actually, all I did was go to bed at 11:30 last night, instead of my usual 8:30. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
totally saw that one coming lol
PiinkVanilla 15
Never trust you from the night before.
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Comments (99)
thee_most_dope 30
totally saw that one coming lol
Brandi_Faith 34
I totally thought it was going to be pee from the middle of the night.
hazardoussmiles9 22
I thought it would be vomit
Garrett2818 21
Best way to cure a hangover hahah jk
Arthurie 30
43 - In the wise words of Cleveland from Family Guy, "Oh, that's nasty."
thisguy22 33
I assumed it would be an ashtray cup/can. Something he put a cigarette, or three, out in the night before.
Draxanoth 15
And it begins...
laden_swallow09 35
What? What begins? Sounds more like it already ended.
Demig0d6 14
Hangover part 3
emily4040 18
What?
PiinkVanilla 15
Never trust you from the night before.
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe it was a present from your last night's self? Mix that with some Powerade and you're good to go!
ghostsoul21 12
Couldn't you smell the difference though.. How does that even happen..
Miss_Whipped 43
OP might just have been in desperation for a drink as soon as he woke up. We don't always think clearly right as we break out of unconsciousness.
badluckalex 23
@5- I would still check the cup at least! Although, I have heard that taking a shot the morning after a nght of drinking helps with a hangover.
yoshiyakiryu 20
I've done it before too, I don't typically get hungover but when I do I tend to not be able to register certain things, e.g. smells.
spignona84 11
Be thankful it wasn't chew spit
doggiewoggie 13
Or piss.
AnOriginalName 19
Or semen in beer.
91hayek 31
Or chew spit, semen and piss in a beer.
ironichalibut 24
Starting the day the right way
CVTTRVN 19
Party never ends...
zandalee 20
Hair of the dog!! Perfect!
tpm45 25
And this is why you don't get so drunk that you end up like that. You're lucky that it was at least drinkable, OP.
xNephilim 19
Eh I wouldn't necessarily say that. I've been drunk plenty of times and woke up without a hangover. Then I drank something different once and didn't even get past a buzz but I was puking the next morning.
pink_lightning 16
It could have been much worse. I was relieved that the FML ended with vodka instead of throw up or cigarette butts. Yuck!
AnOriginalName 19
So where's the problem?
Liamj774 36
I think it's waking up with a hangover
MrConcise 35
Might as well brush your teeth with a bottle of jack while you're at it.
Miss_Whipped 43
Did he wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy?
EmiliaB 12
Then grabbed his glasses and went out the door.
errorcode330 5
Of course, because when he leaves for the night he ain't coming back.
Gremlinek 16
Average mouth wash has actually more alcohol than Jack (if you don't believe me just check for ethanol % on label).
Miss_Whipped 43
Damn party-crasher! Shoo! Go on, get!
Heyo_its_Jo 8
Yikes! But still, it could've been worse. Never trust any drink you find after a party o_O