Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my...

By NotDarkKnight - 8/10/2014 00:46 - United States - Barnesville

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

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NotDarkKnight tells us more :

OP here. The person that told me that is was 'strange' is a friend of mine, so I dont think it was him. I didnt switch pockets because of his comment, but I just wanted to change it up a bit. Another friend found my wallet and returned it. I'm 15, so I don't have any money anyways...

Money

KoBabe

They're everywhere

TMI

By Nudge23 - 26/9/2011 07:26 - Australia

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

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By Dave - 7/2/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

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By JulleandCici - 31/1/2009 15:03 - France

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 05:01

Near the knuckle

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

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By hopeless - 8/4/2011 15:03

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/6/2013 03:19 - United States - Warsaw

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

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By devourer, apparently - 14/8/2018 22:18

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that I had grown on him. I thought it was cute, until he added, "like a flesh eating bacteria". FML

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By Jimmy Joe - 8/9/2017 20:00

Today, I went to Houston to help with hurricane relief and to donate supplies. Later, I realized that I'd accidentally donated a bag that had my brand new truck keys in it. I've been waiting for 5 hours already to find it. FML

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By the_captain - 23/6/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

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By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 06:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

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By lonely - 24/10/2011 14:55 - United States

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/8/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/1/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

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By Alien - 29/12/2016 11:07 - Switzerland

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

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By no paedo - 11/3/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

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By Stef - 5/12/2018 05:00

Today, as I was about to go to bed, the lid came off a brand new bottle of laundry detergent and it toppled down my carpeted basement steps. 3 hours, 2 dozen microfiber cloths, and a bucket of water later and my steps are still full of suds. I went to bed at 3 am and my 10 week old was up at 4 am. FML

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By dazedandconfused - 25/6/2009 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

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By Mamasboyhater - 15/6/2010 09:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

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By hannaholic - 3/7/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

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By Miss_Blaine - 29/6/2016 20:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML

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By Darwin_Award_Winner - 7/6/2012 12:10 - United States - Beaumont

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

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By virginmary - 6/12/2009 08:07 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2011 07:22 - Germany

Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML

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By countryblumpkin - 1/8/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

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By IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit - 1/4/2015 02:15 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

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By wowimdumb - 30/1/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/4/2017 18:00

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

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By wtf - 29/11/2010 16:05 - United States

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

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By hoolagirl4422 - 20/9/2013 11:23 - Hong Kong - Kennedy Town

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

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By me - 15/12/2013 01:49 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

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By mykhael - 21/8/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

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By Sarah - 26/3/2012 11:14 - United States

Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML

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By mrtoolate - 19/6/2016 08:58 - India - Pune

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/9/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

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By Misky - 2/7/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

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By Scared - 13/7/2019 02:30

Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2013 03:47 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

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By ashhatches - 27/6/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

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By oheyimsarahh - 16/2/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

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By cjbutterfly96 - 17/12/2015 15:54 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

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Top comments

By xSavaqee | 12

#6085689 - Friday 10 October 2014 3:29

Probably why your "friends" found it , because you had no money to begin with.

By UntoldLife | 18

#6084358 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:25

Un lucky, do what you want don't care what people think about you

COMMENTS

By UntoldLife | 18

#6084358 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:25

Un lucky, do what you want don't care what people think about you

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6084678 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 19:35

I've got a George Costanza wallet. It won't fit in my back pocket...

By DomiLove | 26

#6084360 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

That's why you don't listen to people. Screw their opinions.

Soviet_American | 29

#6084446 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 14:10

Sometimes others comments, are very useful. But in OP's case, YA GOT F***ED OVER!! Sorry to hear...

Doritozilla | 20

#6085687 - Friday 10 October 2014 3:25

You see it was all part of an elaborate plan. It was the same man (or woman) who told him of this abnormality and the thief.

By annarcheer | 19

#6084361 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

I don't use a wallet.

ComoEsJuan | 24

#6084391 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:47

I actually keep my wallet in my butthole.

somewizdom | 15

#6084670 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 19:22

I've never carried money. Credit card only.

DropTheDaggerxx | 31

#6084982 - Thursday 9 October 2014 5:20

Money isn't the only thing you use a wallet for. Credit/debit cards, license, membership/rewards cards for stores, etc. I keep important receipts in mine, business cards, pretty much anything that I may need while out.

By keiNan_fml | 35

#6084362 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

that was "strange"

By cocacola999 | 27

#6084363 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

I'd watch out for the person who claimed it was "strange"...

By varutha | 16

#6084364 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:27

Damn. They're getting smarter.

By blackman303 | 11

#6084365 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:27

Never let anybody change the way you do things, if it works fine for you, unlucky though.

By banana11111 | 11

#6084366 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:28

Coincidence... I think not

By Chente_313 | 15

#6084375 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:32

My wallet is always in my front pocket.

By Imareth | 10

#6084378 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:33

If you moved it to your back pocket because some random person on a chunk of rock spinning through space said the way you were doing it was 'strange'... YDI. Hope you're never put in a situation that requires you to stand up for ... anything ...

Ichiya | 29

#6084382 - Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:37

It was a simple habit not one of his core beliefs. Op probably moved it to his back pocket either to placate the commenter or to see what it was like.