Money: Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my...

08/10/2014 00:46 - United States - Barnesville

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 579

You deserved it 5 708

NotDarkKnight tells us more.

NotDarkKnight 27

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Friday 10 October 2014 3:18

OP here. The person that told me that is was 'strange' is a friend of mine, so I dont think it was him. I didnt switch pockets because of his comment, but I just wanted to change it up a bit. Another friend found my wallet and returned it. I'm 15, so I don't have any money anyways...

Money

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Batman

Empathy lives

09/02/2012 17:28 - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 310

You deserved it 2 245

24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 013

You deserved it 4 318

09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 438

You deserved it 4 555

02/08/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 919

You deserved it 13 898

11/03/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 588

You deserved it 16 926

07/01/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 949

You deserved it 2 946

12/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 779

You deserved it 6 729

22/05/2012 16:11 - United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 4 009

30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 116

You deserved it 7 089

04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 670

You deserved it 13 533

04/01/2012 18:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 421

You deserved it 3 036

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 220

15/08/2016 03:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 15 594

02/01/2016 16:57 - United States - Fairfax

Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Years break, she still hasn't finished up her skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching youtube videos with her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 137

You deserved it 1 792

29/10/2015 20:51 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 083

You deserved it 1 435

Sounds reasonable

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 23:01

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 1 695

07/02/2012 13:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 239

You deserved it 3 254

04/01/2009 10:15 - France

Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 171

You deserved it 27 145

17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 477

You deserved it 4 327

26/04/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 301

18/07/2013 13:53 - United States - Woburn

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 325

You deserved it 6 861

13/06/2017 16:00

Today, it was my first driving lesson. I was so bad, the police stopped me and accused me of being drunk, because I almost crashed into the pole in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 919

22/01/2015 02:17 - United States

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 139

You deserved it 2 571

16/07/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 517

You deserved it 13 372

31/07/2014 03:12 - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 728

You deserved it 3 414

17/07/2013 05:22 - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 986

You deserved it 3 620

02/11/2010 06:50 - Australia

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 640

You deserved it 4 386

STOP SCREAMING

By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 12:10 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 063

You deserved it 26 972

12/02/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 4 178

27/05/2015 19:40 - Cyprus

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 2 083

17/03/2010 06:12

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 967

You deserved it 4 388

06/07/2011 23:35 - Canada

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 626

You deserved it 12 403

02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971

You deserved it 5 080

Stinky neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 22:01

Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley: a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 47

07/02/2010 00:31 - France

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 936

You deserved it 44 073

20/09/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 305

You deserved it 6 801

07/08/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8lbs through the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms. "well it looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 966

You deserved it 8 247

25/10/2015 13:13 - United States - Crawfordville

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 259

You deserved it 31 469

Check yourself

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 23:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 454

You deserved it 3 845

02/12/2013 13:28 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 280

You deserved it 3 640

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Top comments

xSavaqee 12

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Friday 10 October 2014 3:29

Probably why your "friends" found it , because you had no money to begin with.

UntoldLife 18

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:25

Un lucky, do what you want don't care what people think about you

UntoldLife 18

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:25

Un lucky, do what you want don't care what people think about you

incoherentrmblr 21

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 19:35

I've got a George Costanza wallet. It won't fit in my back pocket...

DomiLove 26

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

That's why you don't listen to people. Screw their opinions.

Soviet_American 29

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 14:10

Sometimes others comments, are very useful. But in OP's case, YA GOT F***ED OVER!! Sorry to hear...

Doritozilla 20

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Friday 10 October 2014 3:25

You see it was all part of an elaborate plan. It was the same man (or woman) who told him of this abnormality and the thief.

annarcheer 19

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

I don't use a wallet.

ComoEsJuan 24

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:47

I actually keep my wallet in my butthole.

somewizdom 15

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 19:22

I've never carried money. Credit card only.

DropTheDaggerxx 31

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Thursday 9 October 2014 5:20

Money isn't the only thing you use a wallet for. Credit/debit cards, license, membership/rewards cards for stores, etc. I keep important receipts in mine, business cards, pretty much anything that I may need while out.

keiNan_fml 35

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

that was "strange"

cocacola999 27

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:26

I'd watch out for the person who claimed it was "strange"...

varutha 16

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:27

Damn. They're getting smarter.

blackman303 11

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:27

Never let anybody change the way you do things, if it works fine for you, unlucky though.

banana11111 11

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:28

Coincidence... I think not

Chente_313 15

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:32

My wallet is always in my front pocket.

Imareth 10

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:33

If you moved it to your back pocket because some random person on a chunk of rock spinning through space said the way you were doing it was 'strange'... YDI. Hope you're never put in a situation that requires you to stand up for ... anything ...

Ichiya 29

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Wednesday 8 October 2014 12:37

It was a simple habit not one of his core beliefs. Op probably moved it to his back pocket either to placate the commenter or to see what it was like.