Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while covering lunch for the self-checkout host, I noticed a customer walking away. I smiled and said, "Have a nice night!" A few minutes later, I saw that she'd left without paying on her machine. I'd smiled and waved at a lady as she stole from me. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
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Top comments
Endymion_fml 0
You deserved that one hundred percent, you thieving bastard.
PhoenixLE 0
You're a moron. YDI.
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Comments (797)
northbaldwinbabe 18
you shouldn't be breaking the law anyway. I hope you get sent to prison for life. You committed a crime and you're showing little kids it's okay to go to jail for thinking you are above the law. May God punish you in every way possible. Hope you rot in jail. I also hope the police arrested you and that the store pressed charges against you for stealing and robbing the store of their merchandise and money. You have no right to think you're above the law and can take something and get away with it!!! In no way are you allowed to grab and run from the law. Rot in jail, you law-breaker.
Yellowjello1800 7
That's a little exaggerated.
Marissa6998 3
YDI dumbass
mojo5678 5
We gotta badass over here
eeoc777 6
uh, i feel so sorry for you, i have a friend who was taken home by the gardaí for that sorta thing. next time, hide it better and dont acknowledge it :)
eeoc777 6
My 10 theses to your retarded comment: 1. All laws are created from heavily flawed systems. 2. He's not gonna be sent to jail JUST for stealing, it would take A LOT more than that. 3. Kids are gonna learn that from the likes of GTA, etc. anyway. 4. What God? Why buy into that bullcrap? Its just a myth made long ago in order to get power and followers. What are you? Five? 5.'Rot in jail'? Not likely for stealing, as i said. 6. He never mentioned taking money. 7. He DOES have the right to consider himself above the law, it's called the 'right to an opinion'. 8. he may not be allowed... yet... but laws can be changed. 9. Again with the 'rot in jail'? Talk about repetitive! 10. 'Law-breaker'? Wow, great insult! *Sarcastic laugh* At least hone a bit of originality.
northbaldwinbabe 18
shut the **** up, #646. I was simply stating what I felt. He can BURN in jail. And I`m a strict Christian and Catholic and God is NOT a myth. How dare you even imply that`s a myth! I also have something called ASPERGER`S SYNDROME, WHICH MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND CRITICISM! Mind your own business and keep your snide comments in your own brain, douchebag. He does NOT have the right to consider himself above the law. Nobody is. He is a felon and should have a warrant out for his arrest for: misdemeanor, shoplifting, breaking the law, and stealing. He should admit his wrongdoing and face a judge in court and own up to his mistakes and face his punishment. He committed a crime. You, on the other hand, are rude, snide, arrogant, self-centered and you called me retarded when I have a form of AUTISM??! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
k18dinkleman 3
Oh I bet you think your cool shit. Punk ass kids.
CammyGal 26
How could you NOT deserve this 100%?
CrazyBells420 2
You never tell anyone you idiot!
Shaneisabeast 0
why do people was simpithy for thus shot, its there own fault
xWhackedPanther 18
Haha it would of been okay if you weren't such a idiot.