Alcohol and Miscellaneous: The mouthfeel

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

agreeclassic 28 948

vote type 1 10 142

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Connaisseur

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

agreeclassic 88

vote type 1 753

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

agreeclassic 29 995

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Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

agreeclassic 34 280

vote type 1 5 598

By tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

agreeclassic 21 491

vote type 1 29 802

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

agreeclassic 20 264

vote type 1 46 595

Wine buffs

By ThatWineGuy - 23/12/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

agreeclassic 68

vote type 1 955

The wedding from hell

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 14:00

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

agreeclassic 680

vote type 1 932

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

agreeclassic 27 867

vote type 1 6 278

The Hangover

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

agreeclassic 19 188

vote type 1 9 982

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

agreeclassic 743

vote type 1 280

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 27 April 2015 12:20

Wearing a white shirt while wine tasting? You like to take chances :)

Cads1 24

Monday 27 April 2015 12:15

Guess you should have swallowed that.

Comments

EarlFug 19

Monday 27 April 2015 23:54

Red, red wine, stay close to me...

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 28 April 2015 5:18

you forgot your sippy cup.

SKITTLZ2000 16

Tuesday 28 April 2015 5:23

Should've covered by acting snobby and saying "what a vile vintage."

ShadJV 0

Tuesday 28 April 2015 7:48

Someone isn't used to spitting.

seriouslygrowup 11

Tuesday 28 April 2015 10:16

you are supposed to sip, not gulp

RayRey009 5

Tuesday 28 April 2015 11:15

I wish there was a like button.

joshi42 16

Wednesday 29 April 2015 1:09

How many times one should repeat: don't spit. Swallow!

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