Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
Haggis300 25
At least she left- she sounds like a pretty horrid person. You deserve better OP :)
notfat14 18
Oh well at least you got to
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Comments (96)
nysucker 8
Don't worry she will never forget her first and neither will you
mjBUD 6
Ahh good times growing up haha
nyxiny 22
Yeah, because if someone does something mean to you, the correct way to deal with it is *totally* to sink to their level and make immature and rude comments because you feel hurt.
Daddymo 14
Don't worry kid, it's rarely great the first time. You can only be as good as the person you're with.
gunnerblaster 21
Calling her a bitch would be an insult to dogs around the world. She is not even worth thinking about. Chalk it up to a learning experience and find someone who'll appreciate you, beyond what you have to offer in bed. Plus, if she was that disappointed, chances are - She's a ****.
danimal_crackerz 26
If I could thumb this up twice I would
thatsme293 28
The right person will understand and wait/ teach you to be better. Someone with this kind of expectancy is not worth your time op
jryan2 16
SpongeBob voice: TECHNIQUE TECHNIQUE!
Loh_Superman 14
Doesn't matter had sex! And with your girl of your dreams noice
danimal_crackerz 26
At least u still got laid with her?
gibbc 5
That's how I'm gonna lose my virginity.