Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
Haggis300 25
At least she left- she sounds like a pretty horrid person. You deserve better OP :)
notfat14 18
Oh well at least you got to
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Comments (96)
JRtheSnowman 5
at least you hit that
badgercheese94 16
Well most people's first times are not amazing anyway. Can you expect a first time driver to drive coast to coast? Can you expect a first time baker to make a divine wedding cake? Nope. Don't feel down on yourself. Even if the sex was bad, her reaction was totally immature. At least you know she really isn't the girl of your dreams. The right girl would love you and help you get better with practise. She will communicate about what feels good and doesn't and she will be understanding. You'll find her someday, but for now, don't feel down on yourself :)
ApplePie1994 27
That's absolutely awful. I'm a virgin, so I'm not an expert (or "sexpert," if you will). I'm sure nobody does good the first time. Damn.
Kempeth 5
Deliver with british accent: Yes, Madam, I do suck but you're an asshole. And in time I'll be better...
Emily282828 2
She kind of sounds like a bitch. i'm sure you'll have better luck with the next one ;-)
jonoLFC 6
Wait till marriage people.
sun5h1n3 15
I'm sorry
Toller017 14
next time find her clit
Sportey 9
Life lesson my boy
Jayvey_Airson 12
Sometimes, the true girl of your dreams is closer than you think, waiting to be noticed.