Intimacy and Kids: Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

By Lily Cakes - 19/10/2018 20:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was watching a TV show with my 7-year-old niece. A scene came on where the main character was being tortured, and the one torturing him said, "I'm gonna make you scream." Without hesitating, I said, "Oh, kinky." My niece turned to me and asked, "What does kinky mean?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 5 080

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

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By PandaMantis - 25/06/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 48 158

By joe - 23/06/2013 23:36 - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 696

You deserved it 8 616

By troll of a gran - 08/01/2013 17:10 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 838

You deserved it 4 861

By CaoNiMa - 26/03/2009 15:42 - China

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 844

You deserved it 74 862

By i.ask.you.how. - 12/07/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 896

You deserved it 20 687

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 23:01

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 1 178

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By Maryann - 19/03/2021 05:01

Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 97

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 742

You deserved it 7 132

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 162

julfunky 29

Saturday 20 October 2018 3:17

Sorry but there’s no way this isn’t a YDI situation. She’s 7 years old. It’s not like you had to grow a filter overnight.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 4 October 2018 0:14

It means when the hose gets twisted, and nothing comes out of it. I know you didn't ask for a double entendre, but I thought I'd still give you one.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 4 October 2018 0:14

It means when the hose gets twisted, and nothing comes out of it. I know you didn't ask for a double entendre, but I thought I'd still give you one.

julfunky 29

Saturday 20 October 2018 3:17

Sorry but there’s no way this isn’t a YDI situation. She’s 7 years old. It’s not like you had to grow a filter overnight.

Lua96 6

Saturday 20 October 2018 10:05

The first time I met my cousin, she was 4 or 5; the second time, she was 9 or 10. For all we know, this could be the first time OP had met their niece. It happens, especially if you happen to live far apart from each other (My dad moved to the north of Germany, his side of the family mostly lives in the southwest) and/or aren't that close (I have an aunt I've never met in my life, and have no desire to do so until they apologize for how they think about my cousin).

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Saturday 20 October 2018 4:30

good job😂

Sencilia101 31

Saturday 20 October 2018 7:29

What were you even watching? If it had a torture scene, I doubt it's child friendly.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 20 October 2018 8:17

Just say “weird in a disgusting and inappropriate way.” Your brother or sister will be happy with her aversion to sex.

WHSKitty4ever 23

Saturday 20 October 2018 10:17

No offense, but this pretty much sounds like the comment from the above FML? Not meaning to insinuate that this didn’t happen, just making an observation. In any case, your life sucks, OP. Sorry about that.

marcelmg 10

Saturday 20 October 2018 11:50

Come on, it was just torture! Glad she didn't see a nipple!

Summaria 10

Saturday 20 October 2018 11:51

So you are uncomfortable talking with your 7 year old niece about erotic preferences but are perfectly fine watching a torture scene on TV with her?

AxelRose 6

Saturday 20 October 2018 19:31

That's an excellent point.

AxelRose 6

Saturday 20 October 2018 19:28

Why the heck were you watching a TV show where someone was being tortured with a seven year old girl? ...I have so many questions... You said that with no hesitation in front of a 7 year old... ...Boi...