Health, Poopoo peepee, Relatable and Awkward: Sounds fun - FML

Sounds fun

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 19:00 - United States - Chester

Today, I discovered what it feels like to be extremely constipated while having a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 102

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Show me where it hurts

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 19:02 - United States - Weslaco

Today, I learned that pregnancy makes me more prone to migraines, but the only pain killer I can take makes me vomit. So I have to choose between being in pain and vomiting for hours on end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 154

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 281

Round and round

By Decibell - 18/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out the trigger to my horrendous, disgustingly painful migraines that last up to 5 days is... Pain. My migraines are literally causing themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 155

Headfucked

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 17:00

Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 106

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 75

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 8 800

Quality time

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 18:00

Today, I'm finally visiting my long-distance boyfriend in his home country. He has a vomit-inducing migraine, and the traditional food he fed me triggered the worst kidney attack I've had in years. We're both lying on the couch writhing in pain. Yay, quality time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 151

Right between the toes

By hellosir - 27/03/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 4 201

This good enough for ya?

By pukishgirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 2 958

Livin' the dream

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 00:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, I’m finally on the very expensive dream trip I’ve been planning for months and… I have a debilitating migraine that’s making me bed-ridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 63

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 28

Thursday 6 October 2022 2:23

By the way, if you are extremely constipated that can cause nausea and vomiting.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Friday 7 October 2022 20:23

Sounds like you may need more fiber, water, and prune juice. Maybe cut back on the bananas and cheeses. Nutritious, but known to be constipating in excess.

Comments

Chazzster 28

Thursday 6 October 2022 2:23

By the way, if you are extremely constipated that can cause nausea and vomiting.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Friday 7 October 2022 20:23

Sounds like you may need more fiber, water, and prune juice. Maybe cut back on the bananas and cheeses. Nutritious, but known to be constipating in excess.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

The Top

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 553

You deserved it 10 589

Today, one day after our 12-year wedding anniversary, which my husband failed to acknowledge, I found a receipt in his pocket for chlamydia testing. We haven't had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 264

You deserved it 1 000

Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper "no fat chicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 564

You deserved it 6 834

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 7 102

Today, I was once again escorted out of a supermarket by a police officer. I must be the only 83-year-old who still has his marbles, but people always assume I am senile and wandering from a care center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 575

You deserved it 276

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 8 029