Love, Embarrassing, Awkward and Cops: Risky move

Risky move

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 851

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Same thing different taste

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 1 491

By ShamedJP - 03/04/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 254

You deserved it 86 572

By Bucks9 - 07/05/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 273

You deserved it 7 157

By CJ 84 - 19/01/2019 14:00

Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 566

You deserved it 284

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 22:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 117

Thanks

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 365

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 198

Smooth

By Chad - 27/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 608

Community policing

By phant776 - 13/05/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 473

You deserved it 9 323

Weird old lady of the day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 588

You deserved it 3 459

DLBL 21

Thursday 31 July 2025 12:21

She didn't giggle, touch your arm and bat her eyes at you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 3 August 2025 2:47

Homie never heard the term "off-duty".

Comments

DLBL 21

Thursday 31 July 2025 12:21

She didn't giggle, touch your arm and bat her eyes at you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 3 August 2025 2:47

Homie never heard the term "off-duty".

DLBL 21

Friday 26 June 2026 14:25

A cop calls that harassment? Yet another word that has become meaningless with overuse.

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Argument Annoying Transportation Embarrassing Miscellaneous Pranks Awkward Relatable Parents Kids AITA Work Family Love Poopoo peepee Health Swimming pool My ex NSFW Sex Intimacy Money Raining Painful Medication Relationship advice Psychology Mental health Cats Animals

The Top

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 051

You deserved it 7 418

Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 285

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I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 131

Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 109

Today, my parents and I went on a hilarious tangent where we rattled off the most ridiculously dark jokes that we could think of. It was going pretty well, until my dad made a joke about diabetes. My mom is diabetic. Now my mom is furious at my dad, and he's blaming me for it. I wasn't the one who made the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 210

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I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 110

Risky move

Same thing different taste

What did you expect?

Snitched

Thanks

Smooth

Community policing

Weird old lady of the day

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