Remember when conspiracy theories were fun?

By ET. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 959
You deserved it 2 693

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Top comments

jpoole 4

No your fat ass just knocked her out of bed and she mistook the fat folds for eyes and a mouth. Yay for negative votes!

Did you do "out-of-this-world" stuff in bed the night before? Okay, I'll be going now...

Comments

jpoole 4

No your fat ass just knocked her out of bed and she mistook the fat folds for eyes and a mouth. Yay for negative votes!

Guess were aiming for the dame thing

*alien 1 - Hurry grab her! Alien2- I can't she's too heavy!! Alien1- Don't break your back... Just drop her.

Alien 2: ah fuck, the other fatty's up now Alien 1: run, run!!

Beat me to it. Ha

Or she saw your face.....

jpoole 4

Yes my face, the one who lives in California, which is code for new Hampshire.

Did you do "out-of-this-world" stuff in bed the night before? Okay, I'll be going now...

jman3113 4

LoL

zaleh 23

i dont know about him but i did ;)

carmenm 6

Smart wife you've got there..

borkchop1992 15

maybe she's too fat for the tractor beam meaning that she weighs more than a cow since thats what aliens stereotypically abduct

Tractor beam? Is that PTO driven? Silly me. I would've thought their technology was way ahead of tractors...

RedPillSucks 31

give them a break. they spent all their money on the AFTL drive. tractors are all they could afford with the left over.

A tractor beam does not refer to or involve a tractor as in farm equipment, idiots.

RedPillSucks 31

Sorry that your humorous bone is broken.

ninjuh_wingman 29

You should do probing of your own and say the aliens made you do it.

Susieee_Q 9

Ahahaha. Did she watch The Fourth Kind? It might help if you tell her that movie, despite its claims, is mostly entirely fictional. It's BASED on actual disappearances, but all the real "footage" is entirely fake. But if this has nothing to do with her watching this film, or any alien film for that matter, then fuck. I dunno what to tell you. Maybe...play along? Say, "Oh, my gosh! I was reading about stuff like that happening on the news!" Uh. See what happens. Yeah. Whatever.

Cool story sis

OMG no one reads walls of text!!!

That was to date the stupidest movie I've ever seen.

I know that movie isn't real, but it was scary as shit.

22 - even worse than Battlefield Earth?

it was almost as bad ad the paranormal activity movies

RedPillSucks 31

Starship Troopers. By far the worst sci-fi movie ever.

Why is #17 telling me I don't exist?

those movies sucked eggs. the makers of those need to be beat

Wow I must have been abducted so many times!

Mister_Triangle 21

Put safety rails around your bed and watch as the frustrated aliens leave Earth for good!

Or we could just throw cheese at them.