Today, I got back from my honeymoon. Return flights from Australia to New Zealand? $1,800. A week’s accomodation in another country? $1,500. Busting my new husband finger banging a barmaid by the public pool? Fucking priceless. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were flying to Australia from New York with an 8-hour layover in New Zealand. We didn’t know where the hotel was, so we caught a taxi. The hotel was literally across from where the taxi picked us up. He did a full loop of the airport, dropped us off where he picked us up, and charged $50 due to "airport tax." FML
Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML
Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML
Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML
Today, I'm bitterly disappointed in New Zealand Immigration. Two days until our flight to visit my daughter, who I haven't seen in 10 years, and still no visa after a three month wait since I applied. What a waste of 40 thousand bucks for tickets. FML
Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML
Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML
Today, I found out that not only did I pay for my wife to travel overseas to see her brother but to bang some guy half her age as well. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Wow, that's a lot of money! For that amount, you should have caught him tossing her salad, or teabagging her.
Marcella1016 32
I had to read it a couple times lol. I was like she busted her husband’s finger while she was banging the barmaid? Wait, were they having a threesome? Ohhh wait no he busted his finger while banging the barmaid. Wait... Yeah idk what’s up with my reading comprehension today lol. But damn that really sucks.
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Comments (6)
Bogrbon 27
Wait, so if I'm reading this correctly, the most shocking things is that a 1-way flight from Australia to neighboring New Zealand is nearly $1800, and even if that's NZD to USD that's $1000 for a one-way flight...
Hangryko 32
@Bogrbon- You don't pick up on sarcasm well, do you?
Marcella1016 32
Am I reading it incorrectly? I think he’s right. Honeymoon was already paid for, then she booked a separate one-way ticket home. No?
RichardPencil 32
Wow, that's a lot of money! For that amount, you should have caught him tossing her salad, or teabagging her.
Hangryko 32
You'll make that money back in the divorce. I'm so sorry, OP.
Marcella1016 32
I had to read it a couple times lol. I was like she busted her husband’s finger while she was banging the barmaid? Wait, were they having a threesome? Ohhh wait no he busted his finger while banging the barmaid. Wait... Yeah idk what’s up with my reading comprehension today lol. But damn that really sucks.
Nikki 17
I did the same if that helps
Brightside86 31
If it was dark he probably just thought it was you, could happen to anyone.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow... in your HONEYMOON? Jesus, he wasted no time in breaking those sacred vows. I hope you didn't consummate the marriage - get an annulment STAT.