Please, think of my family…

By StaplerScared - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 840
You deserved it 9 098

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

He probably went home and said, "Staples. That was easy."

Did he take your cell phone as well?


A stapler? Couldn't you just run away?

that1guy1 13

Have you never had your thumb stapled? It hurts!

He probably went home and said, "Staples. That was easy."

Of course he couldn't. Obviously he was being mugged by a black guy. So u know the stereotypes

22- soooooo, just how fucking stupid are you?

I guess people don't like sarcasm

je_suis_fml 11

35- no, people don't like racism, prick.

We dont like racism..

If you run from someone who is threatening you with a stapler you risk having them chuck it at your head while you're trying to escape =/

13FTW 9

35, that's some fucked up sarcasm dick.

amanda_say_whutt 9

Just don't tell him you have a phone and are going to call the police...

No, I haven't. But a stapler can't shoot, can it? So, if that guy threatened OP and, instead of getting mugged, OP ran away as fast as possible, he would have been safe, wouldn't he? If that guy put it immediately on OP's neck (or if OP isn't blessed with a good pair of legs), well yeah, then OP hadn't much choice.

onikage_666 0

You have to understand, he was probobly stapled to a wall or something

Dammit 10 beat me to it

KiddNYC1O 20

Maybe, just maybe, op thought it was a gun...

dcg1375 7

Dammit. 73 beat me to mentioning I was beat to it.

For once, someone who says "this is a stick up" and could actually follow through on their threat.

SeedlessMe 13

Hey, getting a stapler thrown at your head as you try to run away doesn't sound too pleasant to me! :) ~ almost anything can be used as a weapon, if used in the right way ...heh heh

bulgeinmypants 0

Gang Office Max OM run it

Yeahh, try to run away while someones trying to mug you AND staple you. I wouldn't know, but that sounds pretty hard to me.

youcunthole 0

Yes, that is exactly why op said he was threatened with a stapler

A stapler? Really?

rallets 22

was his name Milton?

fromthesuck 8

Ha ha jokes really on you. It wasn't even loaded.

mecretary by day, thug by night

58 no them bitches can shoot. I would know, i've been shot by one.

133 - "I... I... I'll set the building on fire... Don't take my stapler..." :D

I would like to stick a candy bar in my hoodie and point it towards OP, telling him it's a stapler. It would probably work.

and risk getting a nasty staple in the calf or buttocks...i think not.

10- That made me laugh my ass off!

At lessens didn't mug you with only a staple

If the thug was James Bond you could have died.

James Bond doesn't need a stapler. Just an environment full of coincidentally perfect circumstances to create a chain reaction that perfectly kills everyone but the good guys.

Dude what a pussy.

In that case OP wouldn't post this FML about being mugged by a stapler.

It's a staple in every muggers tool bag

Should have taken out your trusty staple remover!!

Did he take your cell phone as well?

OP: "Umm.. Ill call the cops!" Him: "Oh and Ill take your phone along with your pride."

smashmaster52 0

Lol I think he's referring to the one where the mugger took the guys phone cuz he said he would call the cops

Thank you captain obvious.

Stewie will never say things like that, imposter.

tehrealone 6

Was the OP carrying paper? Even big strong scary fellas just want to be helpful.

TheSnakeDoctor20 17

You guys realize that its probably not an office staple..right?

Michael_Kelso 0

Well op could have fought him off with one of those little staple removers.

rallets 22

you realize thats the only type of stapler.. right? OP only said stapler, not staple gun or anything, soooo yyyyyyeaahh

Good cLl! lmfao

smashmaster52 0

136 - that doesn't mean it couldn't be a staple gun

#83 You're welcome Sergeant Sarcasm :P

Boygenius50 8

I feel like 152 isn't okay...

Electric staplers, they'll get you every time.

I had just pictured a normal stapler, forgot about those.

Almost anything can be used as a weapon these days.

Air bending skills go!

StopDropNRoll 11

Can't you run away a few feet from the outlet rendering the electric stapler useless? Or does it run on batteries?

LOL! Good call.

You're scared of a stapler?

Hey, let me see you get one of those little bastards shoved somewhere up your anatomy and walk away with a straight face.

Garytt 0

I'll slap you with my stapler

If someone would try to rob me with a stapler I would probably die laughing. The robber must have known this and is taking his victims stuff when they are busy laughing. I wonder how many people have been robbed by that person.

I bet your dumbass would like to watch that. It's not even that painful just a sting so quit being a little bitch and grow a pair of balls.

I'm certain the mugger didn't use a regular stapler, probably an industrial one

op shouldve whipped out a pencil sharpener and scared that guy off

cjguthrie 8

They don't hurt I get big cuts so I personally staple them shut

I personally would be worried about maybe getting beat down with the stapler, not so much getting stapled. I'm pretty sure getting hit over the head with a stapler at full force would hurt like hell.

Like a boss. (see what I did there?)

actually I don't...

cause bosses use staplers?..

OneNightStan 2

I see what you did there. Not funny.

KiddNYC1O 20

6- There are far too many pieces for that puzzle...

KiddNYC1O 20


babyskate_fml 6

I did :)!

Did he take your pride?

btstig 11

I'm guessing so. It was a stapler.

Batman Begins anyone?

"dude today i mugged this guy using a stapler!" "whoa what'd you take?" "his pride, dignity, and virginity"

Better leave a dumb comment so someone will reply to mine. God I hope they thumbs up it. Oh and ydi pussy

MarjoCupcake 11

And why did he get away with it? Him: GIMME YO MONEY OR I'LL GETCHA WITH MY STABLER! You: Lolwut

It may hurt more with a Stapler and not a stabler...

13FTW 9

Yeah, a stabler sounds like some painful shit.

flockz 19

when i shit it's relieving, not painful.

Wrong FML.

13FTW 9

Flockz, you never have those lead log shits that keep you out of class for half an hour? Those are excruciating I hear.

flockz 19

why would they be painful though? my shits have never been painful. two weeks in a cell with "Big" Bubba Johnson fixed that.

drlove78843 6

Stabler is the shiiiiiiiit

CaliforniaErin 13

Should have kicked him in the nuts and called it a day.

KiddNYC1O 20

Like a boss. Perfect.

^ i see what you did there.. :P

cicpjaky 6

Fails, they happen to the best of us