Poopoo peepee and Kids: Pissed - FML

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 435

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 2 839

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 96

By wetbutt - 06/03/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 991

You deserved it 68 569

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 037

You deserved it 415

Right in the nuts

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 221

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 8 497

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 89

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 129

You deserved it 132 894

By Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 408

You deserved it 12 287

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 5 846

Next

Top comments

i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

Comments

DeathShad0 1

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:05

YDI? No. FYL. Seriously people. I'm sure those of you who have siblings have told them to piss off at one point or another.

wordgirl 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:06

harhar...better than across the pond, where the equivalent would have been f- you. Need I say more?

pokypunk 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:27

See.... North Americans don't really have this problem except for douche cocks that like to pretend they're..... United Kingdomian? wtf do you call someone from the UK?

Tremble 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:43

Hahaha. I think they're British, or English. Or just, you know, cocky.

sephirothyeti 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:59

Are you stupid? They are British, English, Scottish, or Welsh. Do you think people from the US are called United Statesians? Or that people from the Republic of Congo are called Republic of Congonians?

adamisserious 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 17:01

Great point. I hate the amount of ignorance on this website.

arsenalfcboy 6

Thursday 22 October 2009 17:16

OR Northern Irish *waits for the IRA to blow up my house*

Maxine17 8

Thursday 22 October 2009 19:47

pokypunk has officially made one of the stupidest comments of all time. United Kindioms? Well done *claps*

sephirothyeti 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 20:39

That's precisely why I didn't mention that. Didn't want to cause any controversy.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:55

Good thing you didn't say "Piss off, you wanker"

violette_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:38

Lol. Indeed.

FYLbutYDI 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:12

Lol win.

D_Snow 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:21

hahaha! what a smart kid.

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:31

Your brother is a champion.

_Noon_ 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:47

What's with all the comments?! Anyway, FYL, but I have to say, your brother is awesome.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:51

They've been struck with magnificence. That is what.

mushoo_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:57

The first 55 comments all buried? WTF?

cmac86 23

Thursday 22 October 2009 8:06

on your lap? that sounds like you purposely positioned yourself to catch it. good thing you didn't tell him to jerk off or **** off!

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 907

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 616

The Top

Today, I had such an intense stomach ache I couldn’t even stand up. I ended up shitting my pants. I’m 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 117

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 681

You deserved it 1 234

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 14 235

Today, I was setting up a computer before a big work meeting. I noticed the software they were using had a text to speech feature. I thought it would be funny to make it say obscene things, then delete it. When the meeting started, the speakers blared, “The VP is gay hahahaha” in a robotic voice. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 759

Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 852

You deserved it 6 698

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 4 317