Work: Nice try

Nice try

By bigmouth - 02/08/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 806

You deserved it 76 241

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Better Call Small

By not-so-young-shortie - 18/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 906

You deserved it 5 095

Creeped out

By bezoar10 - 04/04/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 921

You deserved it 70 663

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 12:07

Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 3 537

By sonofmilf - 17/05/2009 05:46 - United States

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 946

You deserved it 6 405

By hadrienne's pall - 13/05/2016 19:25 - Canada - Markham

Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 966

You deserved it 4 274

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 850

You deserved it 62 007

By TheMike23 - 11/01/2016 05:28 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 903

You deserved it 2 284

What are the odds?

By pchis4ever - 20/11/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 624

You deserved it 37 117

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 859

You deserved it 6 555

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 991

You deserved it 14 063

BigBen7 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:04

She shoulda kicked you in the balls lol

Qup 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:12

live and learn, eh? hopefully you will start seeing people for who they are and not for what they look like. you're pathetic.

Comments

tick_tock 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:58

That's awful of you to say. I hope she reports the way you talk about customers to your manager and you get your ass fired.

WonderBlunder 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:02

Even though I think that's pretty funny, girls normally don't like that kind of insulting jokes. I think.

xxmel 6

Friday 3 August 2012 22:30

It's not only guys who find jokes like that funny. I would probably laugh. I think everyone giggled a bit inside at the joke he made, it's just rude to say out loud.

Qup 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:12

live and learn, eh? hopefully you will start seeing people for who they are and not for what they look like. you're pathetic.

chowyuk 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:26

Why does everyone assume that fat people are good people. But fyl if you were looking for a quick hook up, no fyl if you wanted something longer because you dodged the bullet she woulda ended up fat like her mom

freddie_fml 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:04

Why does everyone assume people -- fat OR thin -- are good people? There, fixed that for you, you narrowminded idiot. Goodness or "badness" has nothing to do with weight.

lilbitch123 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 21:26

So you assume all fat people are bad? That's one of the MOST HILARIOUS judgemental comment I've ever read, What are you? A naive 13 year old? Learn to have some self respect. I bet you're fat yourself.

farhil 14

Sunday 2 August 2009 23:47

Naiive 13 year old??? Are you mental???? If they say fat people are bad, then why do you think they are fat? He never said that all fat people are bad, he asked why everyone assumed that fat people are good. And I don't even think you spelled naiive right, I could be wrong, considering I'm just a naiive 14 year old....lol

jnic 0

Monday 3 August 2009 1:53

Yeah... you did spell it wrong, and they spelled it right. Naive. It's called spell check, or www.dictionary.com. In case you want to avoid the embarrassment of your assumptions in the future.

ffmymylifelife 0

Monday 3 August 2009 2:37

Actually, naiive is the English spelling. Contrary to popular American belief, America is not the world. Oh, and look it up if you want, in case you want to avoid the embarrassment of your assumptions in the future.

gildedmuse 0

Monday 3 August 2009 7:56

Really? Not according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Damn them and their American spellings.

Ranoona 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 17:15

Your such an idiot.that was rude of you to say . I hoped the hostess slapped you.

mordantennui 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:14

Well now you know to stay away from the hostess. Chances are, she'll grow up to be just as fat.

LovingCFK 8

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:43

agree with #28. plus, she should know her mom's fat. if she's that shallow, then you don't want her for anything but sex... and if she's that retarded, you'll be able to **** her regardless of anything you say.

12frisbees 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:31

So wait, would she be "shallow" for getting upset that her coworker is ridiculing her mother?

CH723 0

Monday 23 January 2012 4:12

you're making absolutely no sense...

fxdxhk90 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:38

Well, I think you just blew what ever chances you had of scoring with her. Learn a lesson from this. Never mouth off about anything while flirting with a girl, if nothing else it will tip her off that you're a jerk.

Miso_Soupu 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:56

Many morbidly obese individuals would likely be more comfortable if they had the option to sit in an area they could actually fit it. Kudos to the OP for looking out for this stranger's well-being.

blackdog218 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 20:40

YDI for being a prick. Jack Black and Kyle Gass are fat, but they formed an awesome band and mostly everyone loves them. I hope you grow up to be fat and that little children will run up to you and kick you in the balls!!