Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
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Top comments
DaMann360 19
"Thats just nasty" *Cleveland voice
Kruiser 16
Could be worse, it could be poopy lavender
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Comments (48)
AmorVitae93 6
Your boyfriend it would go with a few H put punch him in the face or maybe balls the pending on how pissed off I would be
LtBoom 13
I feel so enlightened after reading that... You have a such a beautiful way with words.
mFUNdo21 17
#33 is obviously stoned
turdoblast 21
Piss; still a better scent than lavender.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Stuff cheese slices in the bottom underside of his pillowcase and let him find it for himself...may take a few weeks......
mFUNdo21 17
unless the linen is changed every week...
shhhaaarrron 12
How would anybody in the right mind ever... I don't know how you got through it because I feel gross just thinking about it
Blavock 12
Beat his ******* ass
mxij 13
Well, at least it wasn't the oven this time.
fmlife__x13x 5
at least the lavenders strong enough.
holeyman 8
I use my vaporizer to make my house smell like weed.
Bacondeluxe9000 7
He pissed on your day.
JMichael 26
As revenge piss in his cereal.