Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
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Top comments
DaMann360 19
"Thats just nasty" *Cleveland voice
Kruiser 16
Could be worse, it could be poopy lavender
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Comments (48)
seemore123 10
I know what that feels like. My sister once had a fog machine that she would leave one at night and it would spread fog all over the house and one time the cat peed in it and it took us days to clear the stench. We had to put fans everywhere and use A LOT of febreeze.
allie2590 31
That's so... random. Was she trying to make a haunted house at night or something?
Fuaaad1994 31
I bet you were pissed.
allliseee 8
piss on your brother.
Al_Egy 5
No.
XSeraphinX 18
Don't! He might also think it's funny being pissed on.
worldclassrager 41
Seriously? Maybe changing out cartridges (if that is what it takes) could change things...
evilpokey 11
my inner child coming out but that's kinda funny
LanaRenee13 6
me too. I feel horrible for op. that would be a nightmare. however, I lol'd a little when I read it.
BMTHsuperfan 18
dont people usually use vaporizers to smoke out of? ohh you mean that kind of vaporizer..my bad.
breeaannuuhh 14
2 tablespoons of vanilla in the oven for an hour makes your house smell amazing, hope that helps!
keirookami 11
thankyou I can still slightly smell it over all the Oust we've sprayed throughout the house but I'll give that a try
MysticMonkey 9
Sounds very mature. Piss in his bed then deny all knowledge.
DelusionalFox 7
And then... that would make the second person better than his/her brother how?
Curlytwirly22 17
Make him a sandwich but spit in it !!!
Jawiver 1
he is cruel but it was funny :p