By PetNameNoy - 8/5/2021 23:59

Love is love

Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and is making me sleep on the couch, all because I said I loved my best female friend. I meant loved like family. She still won’t hear me out. FML
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By  Brightside86  |  23

If you read the book: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, it covers this issue.

Sounds like your girlfriend isn't feeling secure in the relationship. That's the real issue, not what you said.

or maybe not, good luck.

COMMENTS
By  cuz803  |  41

Yeah it's not a good idea to say that. I know exactly what you mean. I love my female and male besties too but I know there's a chance that if I verbally express love for my female bestie, despite a friendship level, there's a chance it will cause turmoil and jealousy with my girl.

You're not wrong, just triggered a common emotion. I experienced a similar thing with my last relationship and it caused great backlash.

Have a conversation with your girl, apologize and accept any L just to move on. Don't fight it cause it will make her think she has a reason.

By  Brightside86  |  23

If you read the book: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment, it covers this issue.

Sounds like your girlfriend isn't feeling secure in the relationship. That's the real issue, not what you said.

or maybe not, good luck.

By  SJKatt  |  10

100% honestly - dump her. There are MANY people who will be romantically compatible with you, and you don't have to stay with someone who cannot understand that there is no REAL differences in the types of love except what you choose. You love your best friend. You love your girlfriend. These things are both true, perfectly fine statements. Sure, you COULD spend your time working with your girlfriend through her insecurities and her biases, helping her unlearn her crap. But why? It'd be better for you to find someone who will understand you love your friends, and it'll be better for her to find someone who thinks having friends of the opposite sex are cheating. (Last bit is sarcasm, it's never better for anyone to assume that)

By  Hempseed  |  23

This is behaviour exhibited by a jealous and insecure person. It starts with shit like this and may eventually escalate to her going through your phone and demanding that you to cut off your female friends and female coworkers too.

The silent treatment and refusal to communicate is called 'stonewalling', this is a form of emotional abuse. Dump her and move on.

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  Kameron Kriese  |  11

Personally, I wouldn't react well. However, I also know that even if they hide it from me it won't change anything and if I find out about it later, it will just hurt more. It's better to get with reality and accept that people we care lots about will love friends and family in many different ways. In other words, this is just an emotional Band-Aid that needs to be ripped off. The faster, the better and less-painful.