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Today, my girlfriend dressed as Black Widow in a professionally-made skintight suit for our anniversary and even dyed her hair red. I was so turned on I did something I’ve never, ever done before: I orgasmed in my pants before she even touched me. FML
Probably saved your life. You do know that black widows kill the male after completing the sex act, right?
I just hope you were still able to take care of her.