Today, I gave birth two weeks early. Everyone is telling me I should be so happy she's healthy, but all I can think is how much I did not want a Taurus baby. I wanted a Gemini baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML
Today, my husband is not talking to me because he was happy with the two children we had, but I had major baby fever and spent a year talking him into having just one more baby, and the ultrasound just showed I’m having triplets. FML
Today, after I had a miscarriage in December, and finding out in June that I was 13 weeks pregnant with twins, I was told out that Baby B had consumed Baby A. FML
Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML
Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML
Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML
Today, I excitedly told my best friends I was pregnant. Their responses were, "Ewww, I hate babies", "So we're not getting brunch anymore? That sucks" and "Do you need an abortion? I know a great clinic." Not one of them congratulated me. FML
Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML
Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
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Top comments
haydenhades 21
Really? Some people beg and wait years for children a s you’re upset about your baby’s zodiac sign? Astrology is pseudoscience. Please go touch grass and be lucky your baby is okay. Dumb
roryab 8
and all that baby is thinking i really wanted a normal mom but dad had to **** an astrology chick the point isboth of you are disappointed
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Comments (12)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Remember one important thing: Just because you were dropped on your head as a baby and became a huge moron as a result does not mean you should do the same thing to your own baby.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm a Taurus. Here's my take: Jesus, how old are you? 12? It's just a sign... it doesn't mean a damn thing. How ridiculously petty can you get?